Moonlit Walks and Summer Dreams
by sevenpuddings
Summary: The third in the Summer Series. And the final. A year on, they all return, changed, altered, the scars of last summer hidden beneath their smiling faces. But what will happen by the end of the long summer?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

_-_

_Chapter One_

"_I want you to get into the deep beautiful melancholy of everything that's happened."_

_-_

I looked wistfully up at the final picture pinned to the corkboard hanging in my room. Taken early last summer, it reminded me of those Luke and Ric had stuck in the diaries all those months ago. It was of the four of us, smiling largely, brightly, without a care in the world. Pulling it down, memories began to run though my head once more. The constant reel of images had haunted me throughout the year; the deceptions, the lies and the heartbreaks of last summer had forever been hiding in the shadows of my mind; lurking for the one moment they needed to creep forward and attack my happiness.

I hadn't escaped those heartaches for long. They'd continued until early autumn, when everything had come to its climax. March seventeenth. That's when Luke and I had called it quits on our already strained relationship. We'd lasted two long months, full of pretending, until he'd said what we'd both been thinking.

"Its too hard Mattie." He'd said softly to me that night over the phone. "We shouldn't have to try this hard." He'd continued, his voice wincing as he forced himself to voice all my fears and insecurities in one simple sentence. It was then, that three years of blissful, unhealthy, demanding love had ended.

Of course, the words "We can still be friends" had been used. On both sides. Because there was no other option. We still needed one another in our lives we just, couldn't do _that_ to one another any more. No matter how much we tried to pretend.

So the close relationship we'd once had turned into the close friendship we lived with now. And somehow, some way, we'd fallen into a pattern we both had come to love… to live with.

Cass and I had, of course, become (if it were possible) even closer during the year. We'd made friends, gone to parties, sung drunken karaoke, gone crazy at one another during exams, slammed doors and screamed through walls… but in the end, nothing could come between us.

We'd both stayed away from the dating scene, often opting for girls nights in rather than Saturday nights out with strangers who didn't make us feel like _they_ did.

That was always the trouble. We'd felt _that _love already. That all encompassing love that makes your knees weak and the butterflies' dance in the pit of your stomach. The kind of love that makes your whole body melt and tingle with excitement when he casts a glance your way.

And you can't go back from that kind of love. You just can't. You can only go forward, searching for something entirely more.

So, we watched Gilmore Girls, over and over. And we fell in love with the dramas, the friendships, and the McDreaminess of Grey's Anatomy. We watched shows that would focus on friendship and love, that kind of love everyone always searched for. That fairytale love. And we awed and cooed in all the right places, and sighed together as we realised that sometimes, you've just got to let love run its course.

In the end, it all came down to the girl power, because by working together, we could see though to another day.

And slowly, surely, we found ourselves feeling better. Which was good, because around July, our world came crashing down around us once more.

While Luke and I had remained in close contact, Ric and Cassie had been taking tentative baby steps towards one another, and towards building up that friendship that had, somewhere, somehow, been forgotten or pushed aside to make way for teenage lust.

But then, in the middle of winter, on a brisk, frozen night, bombshells were dropped.

Big bombshells.

The time bomb ticking for me came first. Luke was seeing someone. A nice, timid girl called Sara. I had known he was trying out the dating pool, but not _dating_. Needless to say, initially I was blown away. What else could I be…? Wasn't it too fast, too soon? At least, it was for me.

And I'd gotten off the phone that night and walked right into Cassie's open arms, as the sobs had wracked my body painfully. She'd held me tight until the tears had subsided, and listened patiently as I voiced my worries about Luke getting hurt, then my fears about losing my friendship with him to a girl he'd only just met.

Then, she said calmly. "You'll never be replaced in his heart Mattie. No one could ever replace you in Luke's life." She'd sighed, her eyes glazing over, and I found myself thinking she wasn't just talking about me now. That she was never just talking about Luke and I. That there was always something more to it.

A week later. That's when it happened. The phone call had come from Ric. With, what I believed, to be devastating news. He and Parker were becoming _close_. We didn't need it spelt out for us. And I was forever thankful he hadn't gone into details with Cassie so fragile on the other end of the phone. But she'd handled it with more strength and dignity than I could ever have mustered.

She gave them her warmest blessings, and sounded so genuine that I didn't dare not believe her.

Later that night, as we sat together watching Lorelai throw everything away, she turned to me and uttered the words that would come back to haunt me the following summer.

"Nothing ever stays the same, does it?" She asked sadly, her eyes remaining glued to the TV. "Time always changes things."

She'd pulled her pillow against her and flashed a quick, unsure glance at me before settling back for the final moments of heartbreak and loss.

No Cass, I had thought that night, as the rain pelted down against the window. Nothing ever stays the same.

-

"Mattie, if you don't get your butt out here in five seconds…" Cassie yelled, snapping me out of my reminiscent thoughts, "You'll be spending the summer here at Uni instead of lazing around on a bea…"

I opened the door and cut her off before she could even dream of finishing _that _sentence.

She shot me a sly grin as I threw a bag at her. "We wouldn't be leaving so late if someone didn't have that much junk to clean up." I said, smirking at her as she rolled her eyes.

"I had a stressful year, and even more stress filled exams." She said almost mockingly. "And you had just as much junk as I did." She finished, poking her tongue out at me and skipping out of our dorm room.

I smiled to myself before casting one final look around the room that had been our home for a year. It was funny, I thought, amused by the situation. It had taken me six months to even begin to feel at home here. I'd missed everything about Summer Bay, and, more than I cared to admit, I'd missed Luke too. But then, everything had changed.

And suddenly, as I walked out for the final time, I felt a wave of sadness wash over me.

Cassie had paused n the doorway and as I turned, I caught a glimpse of that sadness in her eyes too.

"Come on BFF" She said, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and slamming the door behind us. "Nothing ever stays the same." She continued, echoing her thoughts from that night that now felt like a lifetime away. "Except the beach…" She said, giggling. "And my need to sunbake… those things never change." She said, throwing a grin in my direction as I grinned back at her.

No Cass, I thought, those things never changed.

-

I smiled as Cass hummed along gently to the radio. She was happy, we both were. It had been such a long year, but together we'd gotten through. She caught my eye and turned momentarily to look at me.

"Matilda Hunter." She said, her dancing eyes back on the road, her tone playful "I know that smile. That's the 'I miss last summer smile.' What did we discuss just last night?" She asked, glancing sideways quickly and raising an eyebrow at me.

"How hot you were going to look in that dress?" I replied, smirking as Cassie sighed wistfully.

"Hell yes." She replied shortly, before her tone changed to serious as she asked again "But what else did we discuss?"

"That we would only be looking forward this summer." I replied in a bored tone, but a flutter of a hand movement forced me to continue. "We're going to be nice and welcoming to the new girlfriends, and we're going to ignore any butterflies or lurches in our stomachs because that's our automatic reaction, and we can't help that. Our bodies haven't learnt what our minds have yet. We're also going to spoil the kiddies and spend lots of time with the rents and spend amazing amounts of time on the beach because we've missed it so much… we want to hug and kiss it until it loves us all the more again." I finished, throwing a sarcastic smile in her direction as she grinned from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat.

"And no more reminiscent memories, especially when we see the boys. That will scare those girls to death, and we don't want that. We've been doing this friend thing with one another for years," She said confidentially "And I'm sure we can do it with them too."

I bit the retort that was playing on my lips, 'Even though Ric is dating the one responsible for your break up.' Cassie didn't need to hear that. She was right. We needed to be grown up about this. I wanted to keep Luke in my life, because really, I knew that we were better friends than anything else, and if that meant accepting his new girlfriend with open arms then that's what I was going to do.

I turned to smile at Cassie. "Hoes over bros?" I asked, holding my fist towards her. She smiled while watching the long stretch of road that lay ahead of us.

"Always Mattie." She said, removing one her from the wheel and hitting my own.

"Hoes over bros."

-

_The deep cracks of thunder sounded loudly in the distance as my body felt the chill of the wind whipping around it. My hair flew, wisping around, but my eyes remained locked on the dark horizon, which threatened to crack at any moment. The clouds had come so suddenly, and my body felt the loss of the sun, which had been warming it instantly, but I refused to move. The storm was calling to me… Mattie._

_-_

"Mattie." I heard my name called. "Mattie, wake up." It said gently as my eyes opened, finding the harsh fading sun too bright to process.

"Look hun" Cass said, pointing to the 'Welcome to Summer Bay' sign.

Home.

-

**AN:** Thanks to Jade for proof reading for me. And for being honest. I really appreciate it. And thanks to everyone for reading this. I know it's a little different, but then again, they are a year older.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

_-_

_Chapter Two_

"_I'm fine."_

_-_

"Lucas." Sara called gently from the bathroom. "Are you sure, positive, that it's okay that I'm coming home with you? I mean, I wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone, especially because you see your family so rarely."

I smiled at her thoughtfulness, reminding myself of one of the many reasons I loved Sara. She was so kind and gentle, never wanting to impose on anyone she didn't know very well, or places where she felt she wouldn't be welcomed. It was one of the qualities that had attracted me to her in the first place. She'd reminded me of Mattie in that aspect, always worrying about everyone else around her before even daring to think about herself.

"No honey." I replied as I walked into the bathroom and pulled her pale, petite figure into my arms. "For the millionth time, Dad and Beth are dying to meet you, having heard so many wonderful things about you. And Martha and Tasha are hanging out too; they can't wait to take you shopping and show you all the amazing spots in Summer Bay, even though I know you're not much of a sunbaker." I said, hopefully tactfully, skipping over…

"What about Matilda?" Sara asked rather fearfully, biting her lip and gazing up at me with her deep brown eyes.

Mattie. The one person I was never sure of. She'd been such a huge part of my life, and letting go had been one of the hardest choices I'd ever made. But not being with her… not being able to hold her and kiss her, to play with her hair as she lazily ran her fingers over my arm on a long summer day… I couldn't spend a year without her. And deep down I knew in the end she understood… because she felt the same way too.

Each phone call would become shorter, each email further apart, until it came to be that we were grasping at this air, holding onto something that had been, not something that could be.

So I'd ended it. One rainy night. And the tears had fallen… for once in my life I hadn't even tried to hold them back. Each day without her seemed an eternity to begin with, but, as the weeks went by, I found myself building something else with her. The friendship that had never truly been explored was finally given a chance. I found myself smiling, laughing, able to life my life again, and just knowing Mattie was there to listen meant the world to me.

Then, one day early in semester two, Sara had appeared by my side in a lecture and we'd just, hit it off. We'd gone out for coffee and ended up talking late into the night about anything and everything. She'd smiled and laughed, making her curly red hair bounce as she'd looked away shyly.

The first tentative steps of a new relationship were created that night, and since then I'd never really looked back.

Except the night that I'd told Mattie. That had been the hardest thing in the world. I avoided it for as long as possible, until I realised that I was falling for Sara. Really falling for Sara. It was then that I knew she had to know. Otherwise I would never have forgiven myself for tearing her down again.

I'm not entirely sure what thoughts passed through her mind that night… she seemed so lost on the other end of the phone, so alone, so unfeeling, and I hadn't wanted to push her more than that. So she'd hung up, and the distance between us had felt even greater that night. I couldn't focus for days after that conversation. My mind constantly flew to Mattie, and thoughts about her. Was she okay, did she hate me, what could I do to fix things between us?

But then, she'd called that weekend, and wished Sara and I all the best. Not being able to see the truth in her eyes, I had to take her word for it, but since that moment I'd been wary of mentioning Sara to Mattie, not wanting to force the situation on her. I honestly didn't know how she was going to react to the fact that Sara would be spending the summer with us, but I did know one thing.

"I'm sure she'll be very interested in meeting you Honey." I replied to Sara, kissing the top of her head as she smiled broadly up at me and snuggled into my embrace. I smiled down at her and closed my eyes, willing all the memories that had resurfaced to disappear once more.

Mattie and I were only friends, that was something I still needed to repeat to myself every now and then; just every so often when I would think about the past four years, late at night, when Sara slept quietly by my side. Those years seemed a lifetime away now, and even though I was spending a summer with her, I could only hope that they would remain that way.

-

"Honey" Sara called to me a little later on, as I finished putting the last of our bags into the car. "Ric's on the phone for you." She continued as she reached me "He said he just wanted to clarify the meeting arrangements and that it wouldn't take more than a few minutes. So please hurry, we're running late as it were." She finished, handing me our phone as she checked her watch for the umpteenth time that hour and walked away mumbling about presents. I grinned a little as I spoke into the phone.

"Hey mate." I said happily. "How are things?"

"Good, as usual." Came the crackly reply. Obviously he and Parker were already on the road. "Parker's just in a state about whether Sally, Grandad and Aunty Morag will like her enough." He continued, laughing as Parker said something inaudible in the background.

"Sara is exactly the same. She's stressing so much about the presents we got for Dad and Beth I'm surprised she hasn't had a heart attack. And don't even get me started on the Mattie and Cassie deal…" I began as we both began to laugh a little.

"Oh yeah." Ric agreed though the receiver "Parker is in fits about that. She's convinced that they still hate her from last summer, and will make this one a nightmare for her."

"Anyone would think them insecure" I said sarcastically, knowing full well how horrible, yet tempting it was to mock our girlfriends ridiculous insecurities.

"I know." Ric said "But this summer its going to stop. Its high time we proved to them that they've got nothing to be insecure about, right Luke?" He asked, as I heard the sounding of a playful slap through the receiver.

"Right." I agreed firmly, my laughter having subsided, feeling and memories of Mattie washing over me once more. On the other end of the phone I was met with an overwhelming silence, as I realised that they must have stopped for some reason.

Gulping in air and checking around to make sure Sara wasn't in ear shot, I half whispered into the phone to Ric "What do you think it will be like… with them, I mean… what do you think they'll be like?"

I heard him sigh, and I could almost imagine Ric rubbing his creased forehead. "I have no idea." He answered finally, unsurely. " We're best friends, we've spoken at least once a week all year, and sent emails in between, but to see her… to speak to her… to be around her… them… all summer… I don't think you or I could even begin to predict how it will turn out. Not any more." He finished sadly.

He was right, of course. At one stage, not so long ago, I could have told anyone the next move Mattie would make, the next action she would do, her next facial expression, her next comment. But now, we were worlds apart. And I just didn't know any more.

"So." Ric said finally "We should be there about four. Meet you and Sara next to the sign?" He asked, and I almost nodded, forgetting once more that he wasn't there with me any more.

"Sounds good." I replied, "And just remember, you better have that board ready, I'm seriously in the surfing mood." I said, grinning, as Ric laughed on the other end of the line.

"Some things never change, do they mate?" He asked, as I laughed back into the receiver.

"With us and surfing? Dude, do you honestly have to ask?" I said, as we continued to laugh. "See you at four." I said finally, hanging up the phone and sighing.

Sometimes forgetting just felt too hard.

"All done then honey?" Sara asked as she leant up and kissed my cheek before taking the phone and walking back into the unit. But I could only nod distractedly as my mind swirled with feelings and memories I'd long since locked away.

-

AN: Thanks to Jade for proofing. Don't hate me. They'll meet up again... eventually. I'm hoping everyone is still enjoying it. More soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

_-_

_Chapter Three_

"_Do you ever just think I'm fooling everybody?"_

_-_

"Home sweet home." I grinned as Mattie uttered the very words I'd been thinking. Pulling up at the surf club (our pre-arranged meeting spot) I marvelled at how little had changed in Summer Bay.

"Behold" Mattie said from next to me "The town where time stands still." She finished rather thoughtfully as we both took a moment to breathe in that fresh sea breeze, to wonder at the untouched strip of beach that we'd spent summer after summer on. As we looked towards the cloudless sky, the clear blue shining beneath us, it whispered home.

"Is that my girls?" I heard Beth cry as she and Sally appeared at the door of the club.

"Showtime." I said to Mattie, flashing her a grin as we pushed the doors open and stepped out into the sunshine, preparing ourselves for the family. Because that's what we were in the end…family.

I felt Sally's arms wrap around me instantly as I was pulled into a warm, loving hug. I returned it gladly, knowing, realising, how much I'd really missed Summer Bay… how much I'd missed its people, its places, its everything.

"Oh don't you ever not come home for that long again." I heard Sally mumbled into my ear as she squeezed me tighter. I smiled into her neck, feeling happier than I had in a while. When Sally finally pulled away, I watched her wipe a few stray tears from her eyes. "Oh that's great, you're crying already!" I exclaimed, laughing a little as Mattie threw in "She's not the only one, Mum's in tears too."

She was laughing so hard now, as I watched Beth try to scold her. "Its not our fault." She said, jumping to the defence of Sally and herself. "If our babies came home more often we wouldn't act like this."

She began to continue, but Mattie's attention was already lost.

"Babies." She cried happily. "Aunty Mattie's home." She squealed as she ran inside.

I imagine my face must have lit up too, as I ran towards the surf club only to see Pippa stumbling out into the sunlight.

"Cass Cass." She cried, throwing her arms up towards me. I scooped her lovingly into my arms and spun her around as her small body clung to my own tightly. Giving her one final squeeze, I placed her down on the step in front of me and leant down to her eye level.

"Now, let me have a good look at you." I said seriously as she giggled and spun around in a circle. "Yep, you've grown, haven't you?" I continued as she nodded, obviously proud of her added height. "And" She said confidently "I began dancing." She said, leaning forward and whispering to me "My teacher says I'm the best in the class. Daddy's so proud." She said happily, a playful, mischievous glint in her eyes.

I smiled lovingly down at the previous five-year-old and picked her up in my arms once more. "Oh sweetie, I'm sure he is, I'm sure he's so very proud of you." I finished, hugging her tightly before placing her down and taking her hand, leading her into the surf club.

"Mummy says it like that too." She said, her childhood innocent shining through. She couldn't grasp the significance yet, but once she did, I knew that I'd always be there for her, to tell her the many, many stories of how much Flynn had loved her, and how he'd always be watching her.

"Will Ric be coming back soon? I want him to see me in my pretty dress that Aunty Leah made for me." She asked, her wide eyes looking up into my own. "He should be here soon." I replied, gulping down the lump that formed in my throat the moment his name was mentioned.

I can do this, I told myself, I have to do this. Pausing, I crouched down and looked Pippa in the eyes. They are Flynn's, no doubt about that, they have his sparkle and everything, and for a moment I just want to hug the small child once more.

"Now, are you sure you just want to show him the dress… or do you want to be spoiled by him all over again?" I asked, and the innocent biting of her lip gave me all the answered I needed.

She leant forward and planted a huge, sloppy kiss on my cheek and whispered in my ear "I'm glad you're back Cass Cass." Before running of through the club, obviously happy to go and torment someone else with her adorable cuteness.

I looked up to see Matthew and Belle climbing all over Mattie as she collapsed in fits of giggles. Walking over to her, I scooped Matthew up in my arms and sat down next to her, as Bella crawled into her lap, playing with loose strands of her hair.

"I've missed you baby girl." Mattie cooed at Bella. "Yes I have, and we've got all summer to get reacquainted with one another, and plan yours and Matthews wedding." She sighed happily as Bella snuggled down in her lap.

"Married ay Mattie?" I asked, rocking an eyebrow as she nodded at me grinning.

"Someone's got to have a fairy tale." She said, almost sadly. "And these two were born destined for one another, weren't you?" She said, hugging Bella close to her, "Yes you were."

-

"So," I said to Mattie as I felt the warm sun soak into my skin.

"Yeah." She replied sleepily, her hands under he resting head.

"Just like old times." I said, and Mattie threw me a wry grin.

"Yeah, only there's no chance of us being thrown into that icy cold water." She said bitterly "That's something I know I won't miss."

I grinned at her, knowing that deep down, she really was still expecting his arms to scoop her up… because I was too.

It had been hard to let go. But I'd managed it… or so I thought… but being back here… home, Summer Bay, it had made me start to wonder again. Wonder if things had always been so black and white in our lives… wonder if fate had really wanted it to end this way.

"I'm bored." Mattie groaned from next to me, and I couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Old times, you say?" I replied mockingly as she threw me a look of disgust.

"I'm serious." She said, pushing herself up into a sitting position and stretching her neck. "I thought that once we got back here we'd be able to fall back into that lifestyle, you know, the lazy one we missed completely this year?" She asked, as I nodded at her pushing her to continue. "But I can't. We've been out here for what? An hour? I'm too bored already. I need to occupy myself. I need a summer job." She said finally, gleefully.

"A summer job?" I asked finally, stunned by her declaration.

"One for you too, of course. Just for January, maybe the end of December even, in that cute little boutique shop on the main road in Yabbie Creek?" She said finally as she began to ramble, but I interrupted her, stating the facts she'd apparently looked over.

"Mattie, its almost Christmas. Every store would have been through the hiring process by now, and beside, how do you intend to get a job for a month and a half anyway? They'd be a fool to hire you…"

"Us…" She said, cutting me off. "Two for the price of one." She continued as I looked at her quizzically, until it hit me.

"No way." I replied stubbornly, crossing my arms over my chest. "Not ever going to happen Mattie."

"Aww come on Cass." She pleaded with me "It'll be a good way to make some money and make sure we spend plenty of time together and not get bored"

I turned to look at her pitiful face as she grovelled at me, but what I saw was something more. It was a cry for help.

She didn't care about being bored, she cared about being reminded, every hour of every day we were home, that things had changed. She needed somewhere to escape to. Maybe we both did. After all, the girlfriends were coming home, and if we didn't have a plausible reason, we'd be stuck sunbaking and small talking with them all summer.

"Mattie," I said finally "I think you might just be on to something."

"Yay." She squealed excitedly as she triumphantly smiled at me. "See," She said "I am so the brains of this operation." She said happily, as I smirked at her. "So I guess that makes me the beauty." I said, as she shot me a look. "If you wanted to, you could have just come out and said it Mattie. I know I'm gorgeous." I said not so modestly.

"Oh Cass." Mattie replied. "How naïve you really are!"

"I'm going to let that one slide, because I'm nice." I said playfully as Mattie beamed up at me.

"Okay, so about this boutique…" She asked, as I smiled back at her.

Suddenly, the summer was looking up.

-

AN: Thanks to Jade for proofing. Don't hate me, they'll meet. Soon, I hope. As always, thanks for the reviews!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

_-_

_Chapter Four_

"_I've just recently decided that the things we know aren't black and white."_

_-_

"Welcome to Summer Bay" Parker read from the passengers seat in the car. "Sun, surf and fun." She said wryly, giving me a look, clearly a little disturbed by the sign.

"Lots of fun." I replied from the drivers seat as we pulled up next to the sign. "You're going to love it here." I said, taking her hand and kissing it gently, massaging it a little with my own. "I promise."

She shot me a small smirk before sighing heavily. "But what if they hate me? Not your family… them…" She said sharply. "They have every reason to! I was a cow last summer, I can't even believe half of the things I did, and I'm the one who did them!" She cried, as I held back the smile that threatened. "Ric," She said seriously, having seen the half grin that had already formed. "They have ever reason to make this summer a living hell, and I wouldn't blame them if they did." She finished, mumbling, looking away from me out across the vast landscape outside.

She'd been like this ever since I had first invited her home for the month I had off. Her parents were jet setting around Europe for the holidays, and I couldn't bear to think of her being all alone for four weeks. But then she'd become so worried… terrified, of their reaction towards her. Of Cassie's reaction towards her. But she didn't really have to worry.

"Parker." I said, as she continued to look out the window, refusing to meet my eyes. "You know that won't happen. Cass and I have talked about this over and over. You've read the email with your own two eyes." I said, not meaning to sound patronising or condescending, but feeling that I needed to emphasise the situation at hand. "All Cass wants is a fresh start with you. She's really looking forward to getting to know you this summer. And I know deep down you want to get to know them just as much." I finished, as she finally turned and smiled at me.

"I do," She replied, "I always did, which is part of the reason why I'm here." She said, inching closer to me "This summer is supposed to be like a fresh start for all of us. That clean slate where everything is out in the open and we're free to do, as we want. Plus, I'm really hoping they'll show Sara and I the best places to shop when you and Luke are attached to your surf boards one day." She added, smiling happily at me.

"What, you don't want to surf the hot spots with me?" I asked, pouting at her as she grinned.

"Of course I do, but a girls gotta shop. You know that better than anyone." She replied.

"So I guess that's the other reason you agreed to come, to check out the shopping in Summer Bay?" I asked coyly as she threw back her head laughing.

"Maybe." She replied finally "But there's also this really cute guy…" She began, her body moving closer to my own.

"Oh yeah?" I replied grinning.

"Yeah, and see, the thing is, he's completely addictive to hang around…" She inched closer still.

"Is that right?" I replied, as she nodded her head and leant forward, her lips connecting gently against my own.

I grinned into the kiss, only to be interrupted by a knocking at the window. Sighing, I moved reluctantly away from a disappointed looking Parker to find Luke grinning at me through the window. Shaking my head, I watched as he waved at Parker, before stepping back and allowing me to open the door and step out.

"Long time no see mate." Luke joked, "And what an opportune moment to arrive." He said, smirking a little.

"Yeah," I replied, thrusting my hand out to him. "You always did have amazing timing." He took my hand and shook it a little before pulling me into a short hug. When he pulled away, he threw a real smile in my direction, saying "Its really great to see you man. Its been way, way too long. How have you dealt with life without me?" He finished, as I chuckled sarcastically.

"Ah, the Holden charm, something I haven't missed at all. But you're right, it's been way too long." I said, as there was a tiny cough from behind Luke, and a petite, red head joined him. "And you must be Sara." I continued, watching Luke's face glow with happiness.

She smiled shyly up at me as she took the hand I'd extended towards her. "I'm Ric." I said, "If you hadn't already guessed, and its very much my pleasure to finally meet you." I continued as she blushed. "You have no idea how much this guy talks about you." I said, nodding towards Luke as her blush deepened.

"I think he's got a but of a crush." I finished, as Sara smiled up at me. "Well that's good," She responded, "Because I've got a bit of a crush on him too." Luke beamed, and wrapped his arm around Sara, looking completely content and happy with his life.

Suddenly, I felt my body being pushed sideways as Parker barged me over to stand in front of Sara. "I'm Parker." She said as she held her hand out to Sara. "Its so nice to finally meet you." She continued, as Sara nodded in agreement.

"I know," She replied. "These two are such close friends I'm surprised we haven't met before now."

"Yeah," Parker said "And thanks for the introduction boys." She shot a glare in our direction.

"Oh right. Hi Parker." Luke said finally, "Its nice to see you too." But Parker only rolled her eyes at Sara who giggled, then took her hand and muttered something about comparing presents, especially for Mattie and Cassie.

"So…" Luke said as we leant on the hood of my car. "Home sweet home."

I smiled at him and closed my eyes, breathing in the smell of the ocean that lay so near, but yet to far away, and listening to the strained waves crashing against the shore. Home, I thought, there was no place in the world like it, no place like Summer Bay.

"How long do we have before you and Parker need to leave for Queensland?" Luke asked finally from beside me, breaking the tranquil state I was in.

"Four weeks." I replied "Give or take a couple of days. Manager isn't that worried, as long as I'm back for the beginning of school term… February is a busy month for surfing."

"So we've got to make the most of our time here." He replied, and I could just see his mind beginning to make a 'to do this summer' list.

"Yeah, but Luke, you know what I'd really love to do right now?" I asked, as I pushed myself off the hood of the car and walked back towards the drivers seat.

"I think you just about read my mind." He said, smiling, as Parker and Sara finally appeared.

"Okay, so we've got the present situation sorted. We didn't double up and we think we've got a nice mix in the end." She glared at me as she saw me laugh a little.

"Hey, first impressions are extremely important. Especially second first impressions." She said finally, hitting me a little.

"I didn't say a word." I replied, as she mimicked my facial expression and sighed. "So, where are we going?" She asked, as Luke said to us "You don't think the olds will hate us too much if we don't go and see them first?"

I shook my head, laughing a little. "Do you honestly think they don't expect us to head there first?" I replied, pulling out my keys and opening the door.

"Right." Luke said, as Sara walked over to him and stood by his side. "We'll see you there." He said, kissing Sara on the cheek and whispering something in her ear.

"Where's there?" Parker asked over the car as Luke honked the horn at us as he and Sara drove away.

"Only the most perfect place in the world." I replied, "Hop in. I'm about to take you to heaven."

"Mmm." She said, "Heaven sounds nice." She finished, grinning back at me.

Heaven did sound great.

If only we'd have known what lay ahead of us.

-

**AN:** Thanks to Jade for proofing. I'm so sorry about the delay, I really hadn't intended it to take this long, but my juices are all gone… for now. I hope they return soon though! Enjoy, and just know, the next chapter is not as far off as you may think…


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

_-_

_Chapter Five_

"_I think I've been asleep most of my life."_

_-_

_Waves beat down heavily against the shore, clashing like the titans as the storm continued to brew in the distance. Thunder was matched by strikes of lightning, blinding, over the sea, but still I sat huddled, cold, ready to face the oncoming storm. It continude to call to me, its sad, melodic voice coming each time the waves crashed, spilling its sound across the shore. Why was I here… where was here… questions were brushed over, simply because I felt at home… as it was me that the storm called to… Mattie…_

"Mattie. Wake up Hun. Its like four in the afternoon." Cass said frantically as she began collecting her things. Disoriented, it took me a few moments to regain my bearings before I realised where I was. Sitting up, rubbing my eyes, I waited for them to focus as I looked down the deserted strip of beach. Deserted, that was, except for four other figures who I assume had just appeared. Looking closer, my breath caught in my throat as I realised who I was looking at.

"Cass." I said softly, only to be ignored. "Cass" I repeated, but still her attention was focused elsewhere. "Cassie" I yelled finally, and as she turned around to yell back, she finally noticed them too.

"Oh." She said gently, as I stood up and began jogging down the beach towards them.

"Where are you going?" She yelled after me as she fought to catch up to me. But instead of replying I quickened my pace as I tried to reach them as fast as possible. Despite everything that had happened, and anything that would or could happen this summer, he was still Luke; he was still my best friend.

I was about ten meters away when he caught sight of me. His grin broadened as he closed the few steps between us and picked me up into his arms, holding me tight as he spun me around. His arms had wrapped around my body as he pulled me towards him, placing me gently onto the ground. My body melted against his own as I breathed in his scent, holding him close to me, wondering if I ever wanted him to let go again.

"Hey you." I whispered in his ear "I've missed you so much." I said, almost chocking on my words as the tears threatened to spill. "I've missed you more." He whispered back, and I felt him relax into the hug, until a faint cough broke me from the trance I was in, and I looked sideways to see Sara glaring at Luke and I, obviously very unimpressed by our, well, rather emotional reunion.

Releasing my arms from around his neck, I walked quickly over to her and embraced her into a tight hug too. Pulling away, I pretended not to notice her shocked expression. "I'm Mattie, and its so brilliant to meet you. I'm sorry we haven't had the chance to get together before now, but you know, University life, is there anything more hectic?" I said quickly, as she nodded, unable to find a voice to reply in. "I can't believe the boys didn't take you home straight away." I continued, as Cassie finally reached us, shooting me a look. "I mean, Mum is dying to meet you." I said, quickly giving her a look back before turning my attentions to Ric.

"Hey." I said, as I felt myself being pulled into a tight hug. "Its good to see I've been missed… nice to know that some things never change." I muttered as he smiled at me, and gave me a final squeeze before letting go. Pulling away, a short look between he and Cassie told me that Parker needed to be distracted, so I put on my biggest grin and took Sara's hand and dragged her towards Parker.

"It's really nice to see you again Parker." I said almost genuinely, as Parker's eyes snapped from the intense hug Ric and Cassie appeared to be sharing to my own bright eyes.

"Really?" She asked, hints of sarcasm lining her tone, and I had to wonder if this summer was going to be as hard as I'd first believed.

"Yes, really." I replied, shaking my head. "Seriously, we want to make the most of this summer, so when we're not working in the shop…" I began, before Luke interrupted me.

"Working in what shop… ?" He asked curiously, as I Cassie looked at me as she was released from the bone-crushing hug Ric had been giving her.

"Well we actually don't have it yet…" She began, but I interrupted, dismissing any doubts she had.

"Cass and I are going to get a job at that adorable little boutique down on the main road of Yabbie Creek for the rest of the summer." I stated simply, shrugging my shoulders. "We could always do with a little extra money, and we're still too hyper from University to just calm down and sunbake all day."

Luke and Ric looked at one another before beginning to laugh. "Good one." Luke said in between laughs. "Yeah, you two working through the summer, that's really amusing." Ric added, as Cass and I glared at them.

"Ah, boys?" Parker said, as she looked at a fuming Cassie and I, "I really don't think they are kidding."

"Thank you Parker." Cassie said, as she continued to glare at the boys "I'm glad someone believes us capable of actual work." She snapped, picking up her stuff and storming off down the beach.

"Cassie, wait…" Ric called after her, but when she didn't turn around he gave up, sighing.

"And everything changes." I muttered, ignoring the pained look Sara was shooting me. One thing I didn't want or need was sympathy from her.

"I guess we'll see you tonight." I said, as I began to walk slowly towards Cass. "I'm really looking forward to getting to know both of you." I continued, as I gave them a little wave. "And we'll deal with you two later." I joked, giving Luke and Ric a half grin as they smiled back.

"Sounds good." Came the choked reply from Luke.

Maybe this summer was going to be harder than any one had dreamt of imagining.

-

"Cass." I yelled after her as she walked up the path towards my house. "Wait up." She slowed a little until she came to a stop, but she refused to turn to meet me.

"Come on Cass, they didn't mean any harm, they just remember us differently to how we are now." I said, pleading with her "We're different to how we were last year, we've changed, and it'll take them a little while to get used to the new and improved us." I said, hoping to get even the smallest laugh from her. But instead, I heard her breath become caught in her throat as she tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill.

Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her to me as she wept on my shoulder, her body wracked with the tears she could hold back no longer.

"How can we have changed so much, and they have changed so little?" She said to me later, as we sat on the edge of the path, looking out over the fading sun.

I didn't answer, I couldn't answer. Being in Luke's arms had reawakened feelings that I'd believed to be long forgotten. Being around Luke and Ric made me feel old again, and I didn't want to feel like that, because I was tired of feeling like that. Cass and I had both changed this year, but, after spending a few moments with them, it had become apparent that they were still the same men we'd loved and lost.

"Some things never change." I sighed finally, wiping away the stray tear that had fallen. "But, now is not the time to mull over things. Mum and Sal will be in there waiting for us BFF, and we'd better show or we'll be well and truly grilled." I said, and finally I received a grin from Cass.

"Okay, but promise, if we're going to feel like this, we're going to act like we did this time last year…" She said, and I threw her a grin back.

"Because alcohol is so good for forgetting…" We said together, laughing.

-

"Well, aren't you two a treat for sore eyes." Kit yelled over the noise and chatter as Cassie and I finally joined the party. I rolled my eyes as I reached for a Madori Splice and walked over to her.

"Kit, Cassie and I have seen you multiple times this year." I said, as I walked over and felt myself being embraced by my older sister.

"And yet, that's still not enough." She joked, as Cassie joined us.

"Are we in a time warp or what?" She said, as she looked around at all the familiar faces that didn't appear to have aged at all.

"I know, its freaky." I replied, as I watched Colleen whisper something to Alf as Morag shook her head, rolling her eyes. But then, my eyes found Ric, Luke, Parker and Sara, and my stomach dropped. His arms wrapped around her as she smiled a small, innocent smile up at him. I watched as she and Parker charmed Mum and Sally, causing fits of giggles.

"If you look directly into the flame, it's going to hurt you." Cassie said from beside me, slurring a little.

"You're drunk." I replied a little spitefully, as she sighed and sat down next to me.

"So?" She replied, her tone challenging. "I also happen to be right."

Couldn't fight with her there.

"They've moved on. So have we. It's time we dealt with it Mattie." She continued, looking at me seriously. "Really dealt with it."

"I hate you're drunken self." I mumbled, crossing my arms over my chest immaturely. "Its always so clever."

"Should I feel complimented or insulted by that statement?" Cassie asked, but my attention was already lost. Cass was right. We needed to deal with this. We'd changed, and as such we needed to move on. I realised then and there that I didn't want Luke back, I wanted the idea back, I wanted what we had, and that couldn't be found again. I needed to finally, really, move forward with my life. Embrace the new life I led. And that would begin tonight.

"Cassie." I snapped, as she looked at me in annoyance. "Look, we're moving on. So let's party girl. We haven't done that in too long."

"Are you implying we ditch the annual Summer Bay bore fest?" She said excitedly, as I rolled my eyes.

"And be killed, I don't think so. Doesn't mean we can't have our own little party here." I wriggled my eyebrows at her as she giggled a little.

"Is the esky over there still half full of our lolly drinks?" She grinned finally, and I nodded, grabbing her hand and attempting to inconspicuously wander towards the esky in the far backyard.

Sometimes, moving on meant being that little bit immature. Sometimes that made it easier.

-

**AN:** Yay, another update. Thanks again to Jade for proofing, and I hope you're having an amazing time in Italy. Thanks for the reviews, and I hope you enjoyed the 'it' chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

_-_

_Chapter Six_

"_I'm gonna have to call you back..."_  
"_Okay, just dial HELL and I'll answer."_

_-_

The soft light filtered through the window as her eyes fluttered open gently. Stray strands of hair fell over her face as she brushed them away delicately before rolling over and squeezing her eyes shut tight, apparently willing the morning to go away for just a little while longer. I smiled a little as her pale face glimmered in the sunlight, her light brow furrowing as I pushed a strand behind her ear and leant down to kiss her lips tenderly. She responded after a moment, smiling into the kiss before moving her arms around my neck and pulling her to me.

"Mattie." I groaned, as I pulled away, opening my eyes slowly.

-

"Merry Christmas" Beth said eagerly as Sara and I walked into the festively decorated living room. Bella and Matthew were crawling happily around in the remnants of opened wrapping paper while all the adults sat in the lounges lazily, soaking up the joys that Christmas always provided.

All that was, except Mattie. She was crawling around on the floor with Bella and Matthew, playing her own little game with them. The one that no one was ever let in on… the same one that we all wanted to know how she did it. Because she was their favourite everything. Every time she walked into the room they would go to her, no one else. Just her. I smiled down at her as she playfully picked up Bella in her arms and threw her up in the air gently.

"Hey, that's my kid." Jack said jokingly, as Sara tugged on my hand and led us towards a couch.

"I know that Jack." Mattie replied, shaking her head. "She loves it though."

"Yeah." Jack muttered, "Only when you do it though." He grumbled, as Mattie smiled triumphantly.

"We didn't wake you, did we?" Beth asked worriedly as she wandered around, picking up items here and there, until Dad finally took her hand and pulled her down onto the couch with him.

"Wouldn't matter if we did. It was about time these two joined us." He said, as I laughed sarcastically.

"Can't get a moment alone anymore." I replied, as someone rapped on the door.

"Just us." Kit said as she and Kim appeared in the hallway. "We're not late, right?" Kim added, as Dad grinned.

"Are you kidding? These two only just appeared and they live here." He chuckled as Sara's face turned a light shade of pink.

"Don't worry." I whispered in her ear "He's only messing."

She smiled gratefully at me, as Bella, now released from Mattie's arms, crawled towards me. Scooping her up in my arms, I tickled her a little before turning to Sara, asking, "Would you like to meet Bella? She's beautiful, perfect, amazing." I gushed, as Sara grinned widely and held out her arms. Only, as soon as I'd placed Bella in those petite arms, shrill screams escaped from her tiny lips. Mattie, who had just stood up, walked over immediately and pulled her into her own arms, and the screams died down amongst soothing words of love and care.

"It wasn't you." Mattie said to Sara "Bella is just a little wary of anyone new. She'll get used to you soon, won't you bubba."

"Its not fair." Martha murmured, "Mattie just has to hold her and she stops doing whatever it is she's doing. I'm her mother, why doesn't she do that for me?" She finished, pouting a little as Kit began to laugh.

"I'm sure she would, if you'd been given half a chance." She said, as Mattie poked her tongue out at her big sister.

"Hey, I missed out on an entire year with these darlings. I'm making up for lost time. Besides, Martha can have her back eventually, I don't want one of these for a very long time." She said firmly.

"And thank god for that." Beth said, as everyone began to laugh.

"Oh I don't know." Sara said through the laughter "I think it would be kind of sweet to have one."

One way to create an awkward silence on Christmas Morning.

"Of course it will be." Mattie said finally, graciously easing through the tension in the air. "But not yet, right? You want to live life a little, right?" She prompted, as Sara nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh yes, don't get me wrong, I'm not ready just yet." She said, and I swore I saw Beth and Dad sigh in relief.

"That's nice." Mattie offered, before taking Bella and herself into the kitchen.

The chatter returned, but I couldn't help but be shocked by Mattie's behaviour. Not in a bad way though, just in a surprised way. She had yet to really spend any quality time with Sara, having been hired in an instant by the Boutique, and thus, the week leading up to Christmas, she and Cassie had been living there every day.

But what she'd done then, it was nice of her. Sweet even. And I hadn't expected her to be that supportive of Sara. Not just yet.

Excusing myself, I walked towards the kitchen in the hopes of finding Mattie, but instead I ran into Kit who was fixing herself a coffee.

"Little bro." She said, pulling me into a hug. "Long time no see." She said warmly as I returned the hug gratefully. Having gotten to know Kit over the years, she'd really become someone I looked up to, someone I could imagine as my real sister.

"New girlfriend?" She asked, peering around to glimpse at Sara before turning back to me, smiling.

"Yeah." I sighed; sitting down into a chair and ignoring the look she shot me.

"Trouble in paradise?" She asked as she sat down into the chair opposite.

"No, no, nothing like that." I said "More to do with Mattie, and Sara…" I trailed off, and Kit nodded knowingly.

"Kind of awkward, having both of them here together, in Summer Bay, with all those memories you'd tried to forget?" She asked, and I didn't even have to nod, because she just knew.

"And Mattie has been so, good. But so withdrawn. I know she's been busy, but its like she and Cassie will use any excuse not to spend time with the four of us. Its not like they've yelled it aloud, and Ric and I understand that it's hard for them, and they've made the initial effort, I just wish she'd take the chance to really get to know Sara." I sighed, and Kit smiled a little.

"Its hard, you know? Watching someone you want to be with be with someone else. And I'm not saying that Mattie wants to get back with you, but until this year you were all hers, and she didn't have to share you, even if it was just in friendship. And you know Mattie, she really doesn't like to share. Just give her a little bit of time Luke, you know she'll come around eventually, she can't go without you in life, you have to know that by now, right?" She appealed to me, as I shook my head.

"I'm beginning to believe she'd do just fine, as long as she had Cassie, they could cut off the world and be fine together." I said almost bitterly, but Kit threw me a look.

"You don't honestly believe that, do you?" She asked seriously, and I shook my head, knowing that I was simply throwing out accusations for the sake of it, because I really didn't know what to do.

"But what am I supposed to do? Spend the summer waiting for her to be ready? What if she's never ready to accept Sara into her life? I could never even try to make the choice between them… but I really don't want Mattie to make me go there either."

"Have you even talked to her about it?" Kit asked, and I shook my head again.

"We haven't really talked since we've been back. She's been avoiding me too." I said grimly as Kit patted my shoulder. "Well, you know what you have to do then, don't you?" She said, and I smiled up at her.

"Thanks Kit, for everything." I said, standing up and embracing my stepsister once more. "You're a star, if Kim ever lets you go, give me a call." I joked, as she pinched me. "Don't make me get fresh with you young man." She said; as she hugged me back once more before wandering back into the lounge room.

I now had a mission.

And as it turned out, I didn't have that far to go and finish it. I found Mattie sitting on the back veranda with Bella in her arms, cooing to her as the baby giggled in her arms. She looked so at home, so peaceful, so perfect, and for a minute I just watched, unable to find the motivation to interrupt the moment. That was, until Bella giggled and reached out, wanting to be held in my arms, and Mattie turned to find me leaning against the door frame.

"You want to go to Uncle Lucas?" She asked Bella, as she stood up and placed Bella gently in my arms. She gurgled and pulled close to me, tugging gently on my shirt as Mattie watched on. "I think she likes you." She said, as I scoffed at her.

"I should hope so, I'm her favourite Uncle." I said, as Mattie laughed at me.

"I know, but I'm her favourite everything." She retorted playfully, as she began to tickle Bella in my arms.

"That's just what Bella has led you to believe, when really, she secretly loves me more, and when she's older, she'll tell you as such." I replied, as Mattie poked her tongue out at me.

"I think not. You will never take the title of Queen of the babies away from me." She cried, as Bella laughed at the two of us.

She sighed then, almost sadly, before moving to sit back down.

"Its not that hard." I said finally, as I moved to sit by her "For things to go back to friendship. We did it fine then. Why have you been avoiding me Mattie?" I pleaded with her, but she refused to meet my eyes.

"I haven't been ignoring you," She said "Or Sara." She added off the look I sent her way. "I've just been busy."

"Every hour of every day." I cried "Come off it Mattie, something is up, you and I both know it."

"Yeah, but how long did it take you to figure out Luke? We've been back for two weeks, and you confront me on Christmas morning? It would never have taken you this long before Luke, you'd have known in a second. Maybe that's part of the problem." She said softly.

"What problem?" I asked, concerned for Mattie.

"The problem of moving on." She said sadly, and I turned to look at her, opened my mouth to say something, anything, only to be interrupted by Sara who came through the doorway.

"Lucas your parents…" She said loudly, only to halt when she saw Mattie and I together. Taking a moment to collect herself, she continued, "are wondering if you and Matilda would like to begin the present opening now." She said, smiling at Mattie, who smiled shortly back at her.

"I think that would be nice." She said, standing up and taking Bella in her arms. "Wait till you see what Aunty Mattie got you…" She said, walking past Sara back into the house.

"Everything okay?" Sara asked finally, her face almost pained with fear and worry.

"Yeah Honey," I replied, standing up and giving her a chaste kiss on the head "Everything is fine."

-

**AN:** Thanks to Jade for proofing, you are a legend. And thus, the plot thickens… I hope you enjoyed. More soon, I promise!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. Only the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

_-_

_Chapter Seven_

"_I'm going to miss your lips. And everything attached to them."_

_-_

"I don't want to go." I said from my cross-legged position on Mattie's bed, as she threw a number of shirts from her wardrobe to the floor.

"Tough." She shrugged, uncaring, as more shirts were discarded.

"She hates me. She stalks around the house when we're alone and she doesn't make any attempt at conversation. She's still cut that Pippa cried and ran into my arms on Christmas morning when she didn't like the present Parker had got her." I rambled, as I played nervously with one of my plaits. "How is that my fault?" I cried, even though I knew I was beginning to sound like a broken record.

"I don't know." Mattie muttered tiredly, but I continued ranting. "But obviously I'd bribed the five year old into hating her. So she hates me." I huffed. "Stupid cow." I finished, as Mattie threw me a look.

"Okay, now you sure there isn't some tension coming from somewhere else?" She asked, cocking an eyebrow and looking at me suspiciously. "Something to do with someone who's name being with an R, perhaps?" She finished slyly, and I shook my head quickly, crossing my arms over my chest stubbornly, refusing to give in to Mattie.

Of course, by acting in such a childlike manner, I'd given her exactly what she'd wanted.

"Oh no." I groaned finally, my head falling into my hands, as Mattie sat down on the edge of the bed. "Its just, so hard. He's _always_ there. In my head, in my heart. When I'm at home, there's him and Parker. Perfect and content." I spat "But he's always there, right in front of me, tantalizing me, tormenting me. And even when I'm not with him, he's in my mind. Haunting me. Its like, no matter how hard I try to move past it… try to remember how I _had_ moved past it, I never really did." I finished sadly, brushing away the stray tear that had slid down my cheek.

"Oh hun." Mattie said, crawling up the bed and wrapping an arm around my shoulder, pulling me to her "I didn't… I wouldn't…" She stuttered, obviously lost for words.

"It's okay." I sniffed, smiling a little. "I thought I did the pretending job a little too well."

"But I should have known." She exclaimed, obviously annoyed with herself. "I'm your very best friend in the entire world. The fact that you're still so in love with well, your only love, should have been painstakingly obvious to me!"

"Mattie." I cried, as she turned to me red faced from yelling. "Calm down." I said, as she breathed in and out slowly until her face returned to her normal, lightly tanned colour.

"Better." I said, smiling at her, as she gave me a little half grin back.

"Sorry." She said, "I just, worry about you." She finished, offering me an apologetic look, causing me to laugh.

"Oh Mattie." I said, pulling her into a hug, which she gratefully accepted.

"This is why you have to come tonight." She mumbled into me "To get wasted with me and forget the world. I mean, what else are we supposed to do on New Years when we're fricken miserable?"

"Sit at home and cry while watching Titanic for the billionth time while we scream 'No Rose, there IS enough room on that board' over and over?" I replied, grinning, as Mattie pinched me.

"It was one time. One time!" She said as I yelped in pain. "Can't I ever live it down?"

"Nope." I replied happily, finally knowing why I was still able to act and function as a normal human being. Because she was there too.

-

"So, maybe this wasn't such a good idea." Mattie whispered next to me, as Parker and Sara sat across from us, their eyes set forming small slits as she gave them a little wave. Rolling her eyes, Sara leant over and whispered something into Parkers ear, to which Parker grinned rather evilly in response, as Luke and Ric approached them.

"Is it sad that we're so intrigued by their relationships?" I turned, asking Mattie, only to find her over at the cooler, reaching for another Cruiser. "Hmm?" She replied as she sat down next to me, her eyes falling instantly on Lucas.

"Never mind." I replied, shaking my head and laughing a little, before stealing the drink and skulling half. "Nothing like New Year in Summer Bay, right?" I replied, ignoring the rude gesture she threw my way.

"Nothing like New Year in Summer Bay." She replied hastily, skulling the rest of her drink before pushing it to the side and turning to me. "You know what?" She asked, as I shook my head. "I'm sick of being ogled at by those two." She continued, rather loudly. "I think its time we danced."

"I agree." I said loudly, taking her hand and leading her towards the jukebox that Sally had rented. Looking over the songs, Mattie pointed out several that soon had us in hysterics.

"I don't see why you won't let it play." Mattie pouted at me, as I stood in front of the machine, refusing to let her put her song choice in. "Backstreet Boys were a huge deal during my childhood. I don't see why playing "I Want It That Way" is really so wrong?"

"Hello Ladies." A smooth voice said from behind me, interrupting what was really going to be the rebuttal of the year.

Turning, I found Ric standing suspiciously close to me, his arm resting gently on the edge of the Juke Box. He threw me a half smile, as if he knew his close proximity to my body wasn't enough to make my heart melt already.

"Oh, hi Ric." I said nonchalantly, as Mattie laughed a little next to me.

"That's it?" He asked, as I grinned a little at him.

"What else do you want?" I said, cocking an eyebrow at him, and I swore I saw him blush a little.

"How about a dance?" He replied, winking at me.

I checked over his shoulder, and found that Parker and Sara were nowhere in sight.

"Won't the girlfriend get a little jealous?" I replied, ignoring Mattie's not so subtle nudging.

"Ah, she and Sara have gone for a walk. They said the music was giving them a headache." He said, actually rolling his eyes.

"Seriously…" I replied, as Mattie stifled her giggles behind me, before yelling over my shoulder. "She'd love to. Where's Luke?" She asked abruptly, in a not so subtle fashion, and Ric rolled his eyes once more.

"I think he mentioned something about getting more drink, went inside." He answered, and Mattie was gone in a flash.

"Something is seriously wrong with that girl." Ric said, as we walked towards some empty seats. "She's not still all loved up about Luke, is she?" He asked, and I just had to laugh,

"Mattie. No no no. She's just had a little too much tonight…" I said, wobbling a little as I eased myself down into the chair.

"Apparently she's not the only one." Ric mocked, as I stuck my tongue out at him ever so maturely. "I'm fine. Just a little giddy." I replied, and as I turned to look fully at Ric, I found him gazing back at me intently.

"What?" I asked, smiling at him, turning red under the intensity of his look.

"It's just, you haven't changed, have you?" He said, his hand instinctively reaching out and tucking a lose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Haven't I?" I retorted, pulling away from him a little.

"Cass." He said, his hand reaching out and cupping the side of my face gently. His thumb brushed lightly over my skin sending shivers down my spine, my body responding naturally to his electric touch. My eyes fluttered closed as his hands continued their soft caressing of my skin, his touch tender, loving. All rational thought was pushed aside, and I was dragged into the dream world of yesteryear, all because of the intensity of his touch, his tantalizing touch that I couldn't say no to.

"Ric I…" I muttered, but his hand pulled me closer to him. His breath was on my lips, and he smelt of a mixture of alcohol and something else, something enticing. Cautiously, he closed the gap between us his lips connecting with my own, causing fireworks. Around us the crowd was screaming, yelling, welcoming in the New Year, but we were lost, in feelings and memories that should never have resurfaced, should never have been allowed to play out.

Pulling away from him, I pushed myself up, creating space between us. His darkened eyes looked up at me, and I fought to stop the tears from falling.

"That shouldn't have happened." I said finally, as Ric looked away, a little crushed. "You've got a girlfriend Ric. Tall, brunette, tanned, goes by the name of Parker?" I said sarcastically, as he turned and glared a little at me. "And I, I have morals." I said, breaking down a little.

"I…" He began, but I cut him off, knowing I would be unable to hear whatever he had to say.

"You look at me, and my heart flutters. You kiss me, and my world moves. And I can't live like that again. I can't live knowing that you kissed me while you're with her. I can't live knowing that wherever you go my heart will go with you, but you're heart is torn between two people. You can't have this both ways." I said, pleading with him. "You can't have us both in you're life. I can't be that person any more… I can't be that plutonic friend. Not when I want to be so much more." I cried. Ric stood up, closing the distancing between us, his arms wrapping themselves around my frail form, pulling me to him.

In his arms I felt safe. But in his arms, I felt memories flow over me, of happiness, sadness, good times and bad, and knew that if I stayed there too long, I'd be in danger of losing my heart fully to him once more… when I didn't know if I had his own.

"Ric." I mumbled, pushing him away. "Just… walk away. Go back to her. And forget me. Life will be easier for you that way. Simpler. It will just, be perfect." I cried, the tears spilling, as I turned and walked away from him for the last time.

-

AN: Thanks to Jade for proofing. You rock girl! Well... hmm... did you enjoy? Reviews tell me of such enjoyment... and they also make me want to write faster... hmm.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

-

Chapter Eight

"_Most of the sex I've had in my life was not as personal as that kiss."_

_-_

Cold water lapped around me as I sat on my board, heavy eyed, heavy hearted, as the sun rose over the horizon. After lying in bed for hours, I'd decided that sleep was not going to come, not while that kiss kept replaying itself over and over, and so I'd decided to come out here, to where the water was calming, and my body would hopefully find an inner peace. And finally let me think things through clearly.

Only, every time I closed my eyes, every time I breathed in the soft ocean breeze that was cooling my body as the heat from the early morning sun hugged my body, she was there, in my mind, her smell, her taste, her kiss. It was always there. And it wasn't going to go away any time soon.

Looking down the long stretch of empty beach, a lone figure appeared on the sand. Turning towards the surf, they waved at me briefly before stepping into the water, and paddling out to me. I wasn't surprised when Luke joined me, shivering a little as his body adjusted to the cool water.

We sat in a content silence, watching the sun work its way towards the sky. This is what I'd missed most about Summer Bay. The mornings when the world stood still, and it felt as if you were the only people in the world. That was the magic that Summer Bay held.

"Little early for a surf, isn't it?" Luke asked me finally, and I laughed, before replying, "You can talk."

"Couldn't sleep." He said, his fingers dangling down into the water.

"Why is that?" I asked, glad to have my mind taken off the kiss for at least five seconds.

He sighed sadly, as he looked down at his board. "This place, its just getting to me. Being here, being home, being with _her,_" He said, "It's like things never changed. But then, everything has changed, because Sara is here, and its just, messing with me, you know?" He finished, and I chuckled sarcastically.

"You have no idea." I said, shaking my head, as Luke turned to look at me.

"Spoken like a man who has done something wrong." He said, his eyes critical, as I looked away from his knowing gaze.

"Well, I…" I began, but couldn't manage to get it out. How do you confess to your best friend that you kissed your ex-girlfriend while your new girlfriend was bonding with your best friends new girlfriend? Even thinking about it gave me a headache. Not to mention that there is this tension full of unresolved feelings that go deeper than you ever imagined… How do you say all of that without sounding like a) a girl, and b) a pussy?

You don't. You just tell the straight up truth, stick to the facts, and keep it short.

"I kissed Cassie." I said bluntly, and, not surprisingly, Luke didn't react. "And it was this amazing, sensual, all feeling, all loving kiss, and I can't remember the last time I kissed someone like that… except for all the kisses I've shared with her." I admitted.

So much for the guy way.

"And it made me realise just how important she was in my life. So my head's been swirling with all these memories, and that kiss has been on constant replay. I know cheating on Parker was wrong, and I know that I need to tell her, but that 'what if' scenario is always there. What if giving up on Cassie was the wrong thing? What if I moved on with Parker before I was ready? What if Cassie is my one, and being with Parker, I've thrown away that chance of having the girl of my dreams be mine forever?" I asked, turning to Luke, who shrugged his shoulder, contemplating the situation momentarily.

"Do you love Parker?" He asked finally.

"How can you ask that after that spiel?" I asked, gob smacked.

"Its easy. If you love Parker, you'll know you and Cassie only being friends is the right thing. If you don't love Parker, then chances are you're still in love with Cassie." He stated simply. "And after you figure out who you're in love with, the rest is easy." He continued, "I mean, all you have to do is tell the truth."

"And Obi Wan, how does this knowledge come to you?" I asked, trying to figure out how Luke had suddenly become this fountain of knowledge for relationships.

"Oh, you know, from places." He said vaguely, and I had to wonder if something was really up with Luke.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with a flirty little thing? Blonde hair, tall, skinny, likes to get drunk and confess what could be misconstrued as declarations of love, goes by the name of Matilda Hunter?" I asked, smirking, as Luke looked uncomfortable for a moment.

"Mattie? No. I mean, Sara and I are great. She's perfect, and Beth and Dad love her to bits, not to mention Martha and Tasha." He said, beginning to ramble.

"But what about Matilda?" I asked, as he shot me a look. "Ah, the eternal question." I said, "What about Matilda?"

"Matilda," He mocked "Doesn't seem to be around much. Its like she's avoiding something… or me. But, this thing…" He said, before pausing.

"What thing?" I said, wanting him to open up.

"On Christmas, she said some stuff to me, about how we've changed, about moving on." He said sadly "She's been so withdrawn whenever she's around me. So, unwilling to bother. And she just shrugs it off, in true Mattie style." He continued "And every time I'm with her, all these memories from high school, they all come back. And I have to wonder. Because, you aren't human unless you do, right?" He asked pleadingly, and I nodded in response.

"Are we living in the past?" Luke asked finally, "Are we holding onto something we thought we'd let go? Are we trying to resurrect something that has been dead for a long time?"

"And why are we being so philosophical about it?" I replied, causing Luke to laugh a little.

"I'm serious man." Luke said to me.

"So am I." I replied, feigning hurt that he'd think I was anything other. "You and I, we're not thinkers. That was the girls. They were the ones who always thought everything through, came up with all plausible situations and had all the answers. And we were the doers. So why are we sitting in the surf obsessively comparing our present relationships to our past ones?" I rambled, until I realised I'd finally lost the plot.

"Did they always spin us about like this?" I asked Luke finally, and he laughed a little spitefully before nodding his head.

"Were we always this wimpy when it came to them?" I continued, as Luke nodded his head once more.

"So, what are we going to do about it?" I asked, as Luke laughed shortly, before sending me a look.

"I am not going to do anything. I did not kiss my ex-girlfriend. You, on the other hand," He said, smiling a little as two familiar figures appeared on the shore, "You are going to surf in there and deal with it." He finished, nodding towards the shore, where I saw Cassie and Mattie sitting on the sand.

"I hate that they are there." I muttered spitefully under my breath, as Luke laughed at me.

"I hate that they know we're out here." He replied, throwing me a quick grin before paddling towards the wave that had been growing behind us.

I hated everything about this situation that I was in. But most of all, I hated that I knew, that I had always known, where my heart was. Resigning myself to my fate, I lay down and kicked the water, knowing that I was about to face my toughest challenge yet.

-

She smiled at me as we approached them. Smiled shyly, and then looked away. Lose strands of hair flicked around her face, and her smile grew as Mattie leant over and gently whispered something in her ear. She nodded a little, as a pale red blush crept across the back of her neck towards her face.

Her eyes flicked towards me again, and my stomach began to dance. That was all I needed to know, to feel, to make my mind up.

"You think, maybe, you and I could talk?" I asked finally, as she nodded, suddenly uncharacteristically quiet.

But it was okay; because she'd said everything she needed to. Now it was my time.

-

AN: Thanks to Jade for proof reading, you're great. I hope everyone enjoyed it, and forgave Ric for everything. I know I did. Reviews are love!


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

**AN#1** – I am so sorry for the delay in this update. Work really suddenly became hectic, like 30-40 hour workweeks, and I haven't done those since March, so I found myself completely tired and useless with the writing. And they will probably continue up until Xmas, so please be patient with me, I'm writing as much as I can!

-

Chapter Nine

"_Trust me. Everyone is less mysterious than they think they are."_

_-_

I smiled, as I watched Cass practically float around the shop, greeting the random customers that filtered in and out and she glowed with happiness, with love. After spending a year with her believing she was happy, I now had the sneaking suspicion that she never really was. Happy, that is.

And I knew she wouldn't deny it. She wouldn't deny anything ever again, having denied him for a year. Luke had filled me in as soon as they'd been out of earshot. And for a moment, it had been like old times. And then, the old times melded with the new, and I saw and felt that life could have always been this way. Luke and I as the friends, Ric and Cassie as the soul mates.

Parker had taken it as we'd expected. Screamed about infidelity, threatened Cassie that karma would get her, then stormed out of the house. Out of our lives. Without Cassie mentioning once that maybe it was karma coming back to bite her. I was proud.

The most pleased about the situation? Pippa. She'd sat happily as she watched Parker rant and rave, and the proceeded to tell her to have a nice life, and offered her back the gift Parker had given her for Christmas. I'd controlled my laughter at that moment. Cassie was proud.

It had been five days since Parkers overly dramatic exit. Five blissful days for Cassie and Ric. Five hectic days for me. New Year sales just weren't as much fun when you were on the other side. The dark side. The side of the retail employee.

Drama queen much? Seriously, unless you've worked the rush, you cannot understand the pain that it was.

But by the fifth day, everything had quietened. But Cassie was still walking on air. Glowing from the inside out. And I wasn't going to take that away from her with my foul mood. And so contently I worked on, because in the end, clothes and shoes were my life, and accessories my soul. At the end of the day, heaven is where I was.

"Excuse me dear." A little old lady said from next to me, interrupting my thoughts.

"Oh I'm sorry." I replied, smiling at her kindly "Is there anything I could help you with?"

"Pet, I was wondering," She asked, pulling a bag from behind her and shoving it at me "If there was any way that this could be exchanged. Apparently I'm too old to shop, and my granddaughter didn't like it." She said spitefully. "I tell you, the youth of today." She added, shaking her head as I peered into the bag. At the very bottom lay a dark item of clothing. Instantly I checked the tag, and found that it was indeed a piece from our shop.

"I'd be happy to give you a refund." I replied quickly, not wanting to keep her waiting. "If you'd just follow me to the counter, I'll fix it up for you." I said, smiling warmly, as she returned the smile.

"Now, why can't I have a nice little darling like you for a granddaughter?" She asked me as we walked towards the counter. "I'm sure you're not a spoilt little brat." She bit evilly, and I shook my head, laughing a little. Old people were so funny.

Ringing up the refund, I passed her the money and smiled once more. "I'm sorry for any inconvenience." I said, but the lady laughed it off.

"I'm the one that should be apologising, if it wasn't for that snake." She said harshly, waving as she waddled back through the shop. Sighing to myself, glad for the moment of peace I'd been given, I began to look at the black garment more carefully. In the soft light it shimmered, as the soft fabric fell to reveal a tight black top. Giving the illusion of silk, the material was threaded together beautifully, and across the back was an intricate design sown in.

"What you got there?" Cassie said from behind me, causing me to jump in surprise.

"Jeeze, sneak much?" I asked, as she smiled at me, taking the shirt from my hands before I could protest. "Ohh, this is nice." She continued, "I really like it…" She began.

"Now wait a minute." I said finally, attempting to snatch it out of her grasp, but she held it high above my head.

"…on you." She finished, smirking and I let out an exasperated gasp.

"Damn straight." I replied, laughing a little as I held it up against me.

"Oh, that's lovely." A sweet voice said from behind me, and I turned to see Luke, Ric and Sara standing at the counter. "Really, that's possibly the most stunning top I've seen all year." She continued throwing the compliments down, as I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

Cassie squealed from next to me, and ran into Ric's arms, as he picked her up and twirled her around, pulling her too him as her lips touched gently against his own, and finally, I rolled my eyes, unable to take any more of their public displays of affection. Sometimes, you just had to draw the line.

"So Mattie." Sara said, sidling up next to me "How's your day been?"

"Yeah," Luke threw in "Anything exciting happen? Any shoplifters or robberies?" He said jokingly.

"Yes, all of the above. And then we cured cancer." I replied sarcastically, throwing Luke a look. "The only good thing has been the lady who returned this top." I said, holding it dreamily up once more.

"Its just my size." Sara sighed from next to me, so simply, that I couldn't believe it had actually happened. But there she was, looking it up and down, and I knew the moment was here.

The moment that would define me as the bitter, spiteful ex-girlfriend, or willing and excepting friend.

What to do? What to do…

"Would you like to try it on?" I asked, as her eyes flicked up to my own.

"Oh no. I couldn't…" She began, and again, the eye roll was suppressed.

"No, really. It would look stunning on you." I said.

Liar, liar pants on fire.

"Oh, well," She said timidly, looking between Luke and I, as he grinned at us happily, "if you insist." She finished, flashing me a smile that was clearly code for, 'Ha, round one to the new girl in his life.' Handing over the top reluctantly, I showed her in the direction of the change rooms and rubbed my head as she skipped away happily.

A cough behind me made me turn around, to see Luke standing there still. He smiled awkwardly at me as he approached slowly. "That was nice, what you did there."

"All I did was make a sale." I said bluntly, but Luke saw past the façade.

"No, you made an effort. Don't think it's gone past me Mattie." He said, as I looked towards him. "I know, since before Christmas, things have been a bit… weird…" He said, stepping closer towards me "But seeing that, and all the other little things you've done since then… I didn't know if you'd have it in you…" He said, but I cut him off.

"Excuse me?" I said under my breath so I wouldn't cause a scene. "You didn't know if I'd have what in me?" I asked him accusingly, as he stepped back a little. "You obviously don't know anything about me to begin to believe what I think you are. I've told you over and over." I said harshly.

"Mattie I…" He began finally.

"Lucas, you need to see me in this…" Came Sara's voice in the background. "Seriously, its like this top is made for me." She cried happily, as Luke looked at me, broken.

"Go." I said finally, abruptly. "You're girlfriend wants to see you, and I really don't."

-

I sighed, as I flipped the sign to closed and walked towards the back of the store. My feet ached and my head hurt, and my mind was swirling with thoughts. From my confrontation with Luke today, from the flashes of dreams that were haunting me.

_A white dress._

_Waves crashing against the shore._

_A darkened sky in the distance._

_The wind whistling in my ears._

_My hair whipping in my faces._

_Someone calling my name._

Fleeting moments, that didn't last more than seconds. But moments that had been will me all summer. Moments that would not disappear.

"What's up Tilly girl?" Cassie asked me happily as I reached the till where she was counting the days takings.

"Nothing. Only egotistical males, and evil females who steal the shirt of the century in their little sickly sweet innocent way. She thinks she's so … mysterious" I snapped, "So perfect, so indestructible." I continued, mimicking her.

"Trust me." Cassie said, taking my shoulders, and gripping me firmly. "Everyone is less mysterious than they think they are." She said, a sly smile appearing on her face, causing me to grin a little. "Everyone?" I replied, raising my eyebrow a little.

"Well," Cassie said, taking my hand as she closed the till, having locked the money in the safe. "Maybe you'd have been _that _mysterious," She said, flicking off the switch and locking the front door, "if you'd have bought that top." She finished finally, jumping away quickly as I moved to slap her.

"Not nice." I muttered through clenched teeth, as she grinned at me, putting her arm around my shoulder and leading me out the back door.

"I know, but I couldn't resist, Miss Spiteful, Doom & Gloom. It was too easy."

"Isn't it horrible to kick someone when they are down already?" I asked, as she just laughed at me.

Sometimes, I wondered why we were still friends. Other times, the reasons were slapping me in the face… or hugging me around the shoulders.

-

**AN#2** – Did you like it? Did you hate it? Reviews are Love, and will probably make me want to sit down and write more when I've got the time… this weekend maybe. Hopefully people will still want to read this story.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

-

_Chapter Ten _

_"I'm currently stealing Chuck and Cindy's wedding beer"_

_-_

"Oh I'm so excited." Cassie said from next to Mattie, as she bumped her hip gently "Its an old school movie night. I feel as though we haven't had one of these in forever." She sighed wistfully, as I rolled my eyes at her.

"We had them every week at University Cassie." Mattie replied, smirking as she stuck her tongue out at Cassie.

"They were _different_ Matilda." Cassie replied mockingly. "They weren't the old school kind, where we fought black and blue to watch our kind of movie, as opposed to theirs!" She said, as she fell back onto the couch.

"That sounds like fun." Sara said, sitting down next to Cassie. "Luke's told me all about your movie nights. I have to say, I'm flattered you'd even consider letting me join in." She finished sweetly, smiling widely at us all.

"Well, it wouldn't be like us to shun someone." Cassie said finally, smiling at Sara, who smiled back at her, shifting a little closer to her as to make room for me. I sat down and wrapped my arms around her as she leant in to me, resting her head on my shoulder.

I watched Cassie shoot Mattie an awkward look as Ric sat down next to her, as if to say, 'Well, I know we generally sit next to one another while watching movies, to mock and to aww, but there's not a lot I can do about the new girl'. Giving her a reassuring smile, Mattie sank down into one of the lone lounges, and sighed, as the movie flicked on.

They groaned inwardly as the sound of Marieh Carey singing filled the room, and the credits to _Glitter _scrolled down the screen.

"Okay," Mattie said to the four sitting on the couch "Who's pathetic excuse of a joke is this? I mean, seriously, this movie?"

"That was, uh, me." Sara said timidly from beside me "But if you think its _that_ bad, I guess we could… change it…." She mumbled, trailing off.

"Oh." Mattie said quietly. "Well if you wouldn't mind…" She began, as I turned to look at her, shocked.

"Jokes." She continued, shaking her head. "You know me Luke, always up for any kind of _Glitter_ experience." She smiled, looking away from us quickly and giving her full attention to the movie.

Something that was very un-Matilda like. Although I really couldn't tell any more.

-

"_We ask ourselves, is she black? Is she white? We don't care. She's exotic. I want to see more of her breasts."_

I watched as Mattie's face formed into a look of utter disgust, and she squeezed her eyes shut, rubbing her temples as the movie dragged on. She and Cassie had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the entire movie, and I suspected it had more than a little to do with her outburst at the beginning, and her wanting to make it up to Sara. Which was nice… it was just… not Mattie.

The more time we spent together this summer, the more I was beginning to realise that I didn't know Mattie any more. She'd changed, or I'd changed. In any event, we were different, and we didn't match, not like we used to. Which baffled me, because I'd honestly believed we'd be the best of friends for life. How could we not be? We knew every inch of one another, or, we'd at least known every inch of one another.

But ever since I'd come home, everything had been different. Was it Sara? I couldn't tell, seeing as Mattie hadn't been around enough to bother getting to know her. Was it me? More than probably, especially after how I'd acted every time I'd even had a chance to be alone with her.

Was it those words that had remained unspoken since her Christmas morning confession? The words that had been on the tip of my tongue. But even if they'd have been said, would they have made a difference? Maybe there had been just too much time and space between us, and the rift that had somehow grown between us.

I continued watching her intently, as she reacted in her own way to the movie. If she found something distasteful, her face would scrunch up; something mockable, she'd bite her lip, as if holding back the sarcastic comments that were on her lips.

"Lucas." Sara whispered next to me, and looked at me strangely as I jumped a little, half shocked, half scared of the interruption. "Why aren't you paying attention Lucas?" She asked, her hushed tone continuing.

"I'm just staring into space." I whispered back, pulling her closer to me, giving her a squeeze. "I'm sorry, I'll try and pay more attention." I said, but her eyes had snapped themselves back to the screen, her lips set in a tight line.

Mind off the ex Luke, I thought to myself, mind on the current.

But as I sat there, the final moments of _Glitter _flashing across the screen, I couldn't help but become lost in the world of thought once more.

And only when Sara sighed contentedly from next to me did I realised the movie had finally finished.

"So?" She asked excitedly, "What did you guys think?"

"In the interest of not harming feelings, I think I better keep my thoughts to myself." Mattie replied, standing up and stretching. She walked into the kitchen vaguely, shaking her head and muttering under her breath.

"Oh." Sara said sadly from next to me, when Cassie offered no thoughts either.

"Its okay honey." I said, pulling her to me. "I liked the movie. She had spunk." I said encouragingly, as Mattie snorted in the kitchen. "Sorry" Came the distant apology, "I just read something funny in the paper."

"Oh," Sara repeated, unable to hide the hurt.

"Honey…" I said, as Mattie waltzed in, bowl of popcorn in hand. "Okay, who's up for another movie?" She said, grinning, as Sara looked stricken. "Another?" She asked, rubbing her temples.

"You didn't think one classified as a movie night?" Matilda asked jokingly, as Sara looked up at her seriously "Did you?" She asked, as Sara hastily shook her head, probably not wanting to appear too naïve.

"Well that's good, because I know you're going to love this next movie." She said, smiling at Sara, who returned the smile gratefully.

"So wise one," Cassie said from next to Sara "Why don't you share this movie choice with the rest of the group."

"Nope." Mattie said bluntly, turning around and flipping on the TV.

"Never a good sign." I heard Ric mutter to Cassie as she giggled a little, and got comfier in his arms.

"I heard that." Mattie said in a sing song voice, as she bounced happily back to her loner lounge. Her smiled broadened as the first bars for "Kids in America" filled the room, and Cassie squealed excitedly in Ric's arms.

"Never ever doubt that woman again." She said to Ric, slapping him lightly, playfully.

"Why?" Sara asked from beside me. "What movie is it?"

Her question was met with a stunned silence.

Quickly, Mattie paused the DVD and turned to look at Sara, her jaw half open in surprise.

"Only the most classic of classic teen movies ever. _Clueless_?" Mattie asks, as Sara looks at her dumbly. "You've never heard the classic bars of 'Kids in America' followed by those lines that everyone knows?" She continued probing, as Sara sank back against me.

"Thank god you came into Luke's life." Mattie said finally "Thank god we're able to introduce you to such a cult movie." She said, taking Sara's hand and patting it gently. "We will make this right." She added, as Sara laughed a little awkwardly, and sort of, moved herself away from Mattie until she went back to her seat.

I shook my head, as the thoughts swirled once more, confusing the hell out of me. Who was this girl?

She wasn't the Mattie I knew. She was hot, then cold, up, then down, then back up again. Jumpy. Confused.

Alone.

-

AN: Thanks to Jade for proofing. But read on… there's more.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

_-_

_Chapter Eleven_

"_I'm impossible to forget, but I'm hard to remember."_

_-_

"Okay." I said, announcing myself as I entered Mattie's kitchen, only to find her sitting in her pyjama's, looking boredly at a bowl of cereal. "Who's your best friend?" I asked, sitting down next to her.

"Oh a quiz," She replied mockingly, "Let me think… now, it wouldn't be the evil person who rang me at _EIGHT _this morning on my ONLY day off this week, because my best friend would never be that cruel, right? So who is sitting next to me you ask?" She continued sarcastically, "That would be my former best friend who's body was invaded by the most stupid person in the world." She said, throwing her spoon into her cereal, causing milk to splatter all over her.

"Crap." She said finally, groaning as her head fell onto the table. "Just kill me now. Make it quick and painless."

"Drama queen." I replied, rolling my eyes and standing up, walking towards the sink in search of a cloth.

"Witch of the day." She replied in a snarky tone, her head still on the table.

"Why did your bestest of all best friends get you out of bed this early Matilda Hunter?" I asked, as she automatically lifted her head for me to clean under. "Why did she leave the new flavour of the month boyfriend behind?" I continued, laughing as she glared at me.

"Because its more fun to torture your best friend one on one?" She asked bitterly.

"Two words," I replied, dumping her now empty bowl and cloth in the sink and turning to her, flashing two shiny cards. "Shopping spree."

-

"This is the life." Mattie said happily from next to me as she bounced along in the crowded shopping centre.

"So I've retained the best friend crown then, despite the early morning start?" I replied, grinning as she nodded sheepishly.

"Yeah, I must apologise for that, but you of all people should know how crabby I am in the mornings! I need my beauty sleep, especially if I'm expected to try and snag one of the yummy boys around here…" She said, her eyes wandering as a large group of males passed us. "I knew there was a reason we moved to Sydney. Shopping and boys." She sighed happily, any glimmer of the annoyed girl I'd spent the first moments of the morning with gone.

"It feels right to be back here, doesn't it?" I said, as she nodded.

"Feels like home." She replied, looking around her. "Because it is home." She said finally, smiling a little.

"Maybe." I replied, looking at her closely. "What about Summer Bay? Isn't that home?"

"Not any more." She replied, all too quickly.

"Mattie, what's wrong?" I asked finally, because confronting her was the only way I was going to get through this.

"I can't decide what I want for lunch." She said mockingly, as she reached the food court. "Pizza, to pack on the pounds, or a light sushi, healthy in every way."

"That's not what I meant." I replied, shooting her a look, which she tactfully ignored. "What's wrong?" I asked again, because there's nothing like persistence to open up an old friend.

"Nothing." She said, shutting herself off from me and looking down watching people walk on by.

"Yeah right." I scoffed. "Best friend of five years here, remember? I know when something isn't right Mattie, and I'm telling you, something is not right! So spill, or we'll never go home." I finished firmly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well I guess we're moving back to Sydney then." She said defensively.

"What's wrong with Summer Bay?" I continued, as her eyes glazed over a little, as if she were lost in all time and space "Why isn't Summer Bay home any more?"

"Maybe because it doesn't feel like home any more." She said, a little louder than expected. "Maybe because I miss this place. I miss its people. I miss the packed shops and how it takes half an hour to get somewhere. Maybe I'm sick of all the small town gossip, the small town shops, and the small town people. Maybe I'm made for bigger things." She said finally, pompously.

"Who the hell is speaking?" I asked angrily "Because it sure as hell isn't Matilda Hunter. Who are you?" I said, as she glared down at me. "You don't honestly believe all those things, do you?"

"I did once. When I first came. Maybe I've just been pretending, maybe I've just been in a Summer Bay Coma for the last five years? The town could have that effect on people." She joked, attempting badly to lighten the mood. I shook my head, looking away from her sadly.

"I'm your best friend Mattie. And you can't even tell me what's really wrong."

"That's because there isn't anything that's really wrong." She snapped back at me, her eyes fuelled by an anger that I'd never seen before. "Why can't you just leave it at that?" She said harshly, glaring at me.

I opened my mouth to say something, but, for the first time in our relationship, found myself at a loss for words.

"Can we just, go back now?" She said finally, and I nodded, not commenting on the fact she'd said back, not home.

Because at some stage of today, my best friend had run away.

-

The drive home was awkward. There was a heavy silence in the car. Of unspoken truths and misguided opinions. Mattie stared out the window for the entire drive back. Her eyes still had that look, and I knew that she was lost, but I just couldn't reach out to her, and pull her back into the world she knew. I'd done all the reaching I could. It was now her turn to reach out to me.

We pulled up into her driveway, but neither of us made any attempt to move. Finally, after an excruciating five minutes, Mattie turned to look at me. Her eyes were almost soulless, lifeless, a world apart from the woman I'd lived with for the last year.

Her eyes flicked to mine, and she opened her mouth, and I just knew that she was reaching out to me, wanting to let me into her lost little world. And as the first word was falling from her lips, a voice called out in the distance.

"Mattie, I'm so glad you're home." Sara said, as she approached the car. "Luke and I have been stressing all day. He wanted to do guy stuff with Ric, whatever that means…" She said, as Mattie muttered surfing under her breath. "And so he thought you, Cassie and I could spend the day together. Only, when we got up you were gone, no note or anything. And Ric had no idea where Cassie was either…" She said, looking at us worriedly. "And so we've spent the entire day worrying about where you two were. You've got to come inside now." She said, opening the door and practically yanking Mattie out of her seat. "They'll be so pleased to know you're home."

She looked up at Sara, her eyes vividly darting around her face. I watched on, as she pulled her arm out of Sara's grasp, and walked towards the sandy path of the ocean. Pausing for a moment, she turned around to look at me.

"Her home now. Not mine." She sighed sadly, as her hand reached up to wipe a single tear that fell down her cheek, before turning on her heels and running towards the ocean. Sara looked towards me, utterly bewildered and confused, but I could only give her a small smile before beginning to walk after Matilda.

"Hey." Sara yelled out after me "I want to come too."

"No." I sighed, turning to face her "Its not… she wouldn't…. you just, can't okay?" I said, ignoring the crushed look she threw at me.

"Oh," She said, spite searing through her fake sadness "I get it, its like a friends only thing, right?" She said, glaring a little.

"Yeah," I responded, walking away "A best friends thing."

I found her, alone, on the shoreline, her cheeks stained from tears shed only moments before.

I sat down next to her, gently putting my arm around her shoulders and pulling her to me. As she fell against my arm, she sniffled a little, as she tried to calm her breathing.

"I'm not jealous." She whispered, under her breath. "Not like that. He was mine first though. My friend, my lover, my one. And its hard, letting go. Its hard, being here, because everything reminds me of us, and there isn't an us any more. This isn't who I am, I'm not part of a we. I'm not at home any more." She rambled, and despite everything being jumbled and messed up, I knew exactly what she meant.

"I don't want to be like this." She sobbed into my chest. "I don't want to be that person who can never move on. Because I'm not. I just, can't do it while they are here, together. I mean," She stuttered "I have moved on, but I haven't let go. I miss his friendship Cassie," She cried against my chest. "I miss his friendship more than anything, and I feel that… that… with Sara here, nothing can be how it should be, because I don't want to threaten her."

Whether she wanted me to speak or not, I didn't know. I couldn't know. Because this Mattie, this girl was someone who was only beginning to bare her soul to me. She was only now reaching out for the hand that had remained outstretched until she wanted to grasp it, and hold on for dear life.

So I held her, as she crumbled in my arms. A broken girl, needing to know she was no longer alone.

-

AN: There you go, two updates in one. Thank you for all the reviews, but I get this story up as quickly as I can. It will be finished, and not forgotten. Hopefully there will be another update before Christmas :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

-

_Chapter Twelve _

_"I'm one of a kind"_

_-_

I could hear the faint mumblings of the TV in the distance, but really, I hadn't been paying attention to their words for at least the last half hour. Instead, I'd been captivated by her. She'd been chewing gently on her finger, a trait she herself found most unattractive, but to me, it helped make her the most beautiful woman alive. A woman I knew I'd never want out of my life again.

The only thing was, she only ever chewed on that finger when something was bugging her… really bugging her, and in the past, she'd always blurted out the problem within fifteen minutes of the first time she sucked gently on it. Now, call me crazy, but I was actually beginning to worry myself, because by now, we should have sorted out whatever issue was at hand… at least, that's what we'd used to be able to do.

Maybe, it was all different now?

The clock ticked slowly on the wall, as she adjusted herself on my lap, her eyes unfocused, looking into space, far, far away from the living room we were lying in. And I couldn't take it any more.

"Okay. Spill." I said, as Cassie's eyes snapped from their spot on the wall to look upward at me.

"Huh?" She asked, pushing herself up a little and shaking herself from the daze she'd been in. "Spill what?"

"Whatever it is that's got you so distracted." I replied, rolling my eyes at her. "You've been chewing that finger for the last half hour," I said, as she hastily pulled it out of the corner of her mouth and hid it behind her back, looking sheepishly up at me. "It's obviously something huge," I said, as she nodded distractedly, breaking my gaze, "So," I continued, my hand reaching, gently tilting her head to look at me, "would you please tell me, so we can talk about it, and you can feel better?" I asked softly, and she smiled a little, before shaking her head.

"Its… nothing." She said finally, pushing herself up from my lap as she turned to face me. "Just something silly." She said, playing down its importance.

"Come on." I replied, "Give me some credit. We may not have been together for a while, but I still know you." I continued, taking her hand. "I know that when that finger goes in your mouth, something is seriously wrong. And I'd like to think I know you well enough to believe that you might actually want to let me in?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her, as she sighed heavily. "Unless?" I said, pushing a little in the hopes that she would open up to me.

She sighed again, and shifted her body a little closer to mine. Interlocking our fingers, she gently rubbed my palm, as if she were trying to calm herself more than me.

"I do Ric, I really do want to let you in…" She began, before trailing off.

"But?" I prompted eventually.

"But, its just, this thing, it needs to be kept between me and the person who told me." She muttered quickly.

"Well, are you sure this mystery person wouldn't mind you sharing with the one person they know you trust most in the world?" I said, persisting with the matter, knowing it was in her best interests if she told me, otherwise she'd stress beyond stressing about it.

"But, the person I trust most is the person that told me." Cassie replied, before hastily clamping her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide with the shock of what she'd said. "Oh Ric." Her muted voice came from behind her hands "I didn't mean… it wasn't supposed to…" She stuttered, as I pulled my hand out of her grasp and stood up quickly from the couch.

"Ric" She called out, her voice strained, as she tried to maintain composure.

I stopped, but didn't turn around. Because, if I did, then I'd see the heartbreak on her face, playing with her delicate features, and I'd cave… but, I couldn't do that yet, because it hurt… more than she could ever know.

"It's not like that." She cried out, her voice losing all control. "I didn't mean it to come out as if I didn't trust you." She said, her words becoming clearer, as I realised she was walking towards me. "Because, I do…" She said, but with no real conviction. "It's just, we've been apart for so long." She said finally, her voice so close it had fallen to a whisper. "We've changed Ric, and well, it'll take some time until we're back to where we were." She said, as her hand reached out and touched my own clenched one. "You have to know that." She said, sniffing a little, and I felt my heart break for her.

"This is about Parker, right?" I said gruffly, over my shoulder, and even though I couldn't see her, I knew she'd be shaking her head. "Parker, she's part of something else. But this trust thing, between you and I, it runs so much deeper than her. It's always been there, for me, but not because of you…" She said, beginning to ramble, as I turned to face her slowly. "You know? Its always been because guys in my life have stuffed me around, or… like my Uncle. I've never been able to fully trust anyone, until you. And then I did, but that was broken too…" She said, her eyes looking towards the ground, glistening with tears.

"But Mattie, she's the one person who, apart from that one summer," She said, gulping down some air "She's the one person I'd trust beyond anyone else. We became so close last year Ric, because we had one another, and that was it. We're just in this sync, and I couldn't betray her, not to anyone." She said finally, looking up at me. "She was all I had. And now I'm all she's got."

I didn't reply. Instead, I pulled her to me tightly, wrapping my arms around her, soothing her as she sobbed into my shoulder. I couldn't do it any more, because in the end, she was the one who needed to let me in.

Later that night, when I believed Cass to be asleep on my lap, she finally spoke to me.

"She doesn't feel at home here any more." She said, her voice barely above a whisper. "She misses Sydney more than anything. Misses Uni, the courses, the people, the complete mess that was our life. And I'm so afraid of losing my best friend, because she's lost her way home, just when it feels like I've found mine. Am I a bad friend? For not wanting to get lost with her, and hold her hand as we stumble through the darkness together?" She cried softly. "Because that's what we did Ric, for a year, we lived in darkness. And then, you found me. But he, he hasn't found her." She said, and after I while, I realised she wasn't going to continue.

"You mean, Matilda is waiting for Luke to find her?" I asked gently, and felt Cassie shake her head.

"No… yes." She said, obviously confused. "Maybe she's not waiting for Luke. Maybe she is. All I know is, she's scared and alone, and because Sara is here, she's lost Luke's friendship too…"

"But Sara doesn't stop them being friends." I said, quick to defend the woman who had made my best mate happy.

"No, but that doesn't stop Mattie feeling as if she can't be there with them, for fear of making Sara doubt Luke's love." Cassie said gently, as she smiled a little, and I knew she'd be thinking that, above everything, Mattie always worried about everyone ahead of herself.

"Luke should know." I said, my hand running down her hair soothingly. "Luke needs to know."

"But he can't." Cass replied, sternly.

"But he deserves to know the truth, that Mattie is too afraid of losing him as a friend, that Mattie needs to be reassured that he'll always be there for her. He deserves to know what Mattie is feeling…" I said, but Cass sat up, and looked directly at me.

"That's for Mattie to tell him." She said, her voice strong. "It's not our place to tell. We can't interfere Ric," She said pleadingly, moving closer to me. "No matter what you think. If they are going to find their way back to one another, that's for them to decide." She said, and I couldn't fight her there.

"You two, you both like Sara though?" I asked, afraid of the response.

"Of course we do." She said firmly. "We couldn't hate someone that Luke fell for. But Mattie and I, we both feel all sorts of uncomfortable around her. It's just how we are. But I'm sure as time goes by, we'll feel more natural."

"As his best friend, I think he needs to know." I said, and Cassie looked at me, eyes wide with fear. "But, as your boyfriend, you should know, that anything said in confidence, will stay that way. The last thing I'll ever do is betray you Cassie, I've only just got you back, and I'm never letting you go again."

She smiled a little at me, and moved herself into my open arms, snuggling down against my chest, and I held her close, breathing in her scent, knowing that it was moments like this I should savour.

-

**AN:** Thanks to Jade for proofing this baby, what could possibly be my favourite Ric/Cassie centric chapter from all three stories. I hope you all enjoyed it, and remember, reviews are love!


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

_-_

_Chapter Thirteen_

"_Men see things in a box, and women see them in a round room"_

_-_

The heat from the sun, the blinding light, sometimes, it all becomes too much. Sometimes, Summer Bay becomes too damn hot, and you don't contemplate moving. You just sit, or lay, on a couch, with tired eyes, the fan on high speed, and ice melting on your stomach. Because there is nothing else to do on a hot day… those are the days on which you waste away to nothing.

"Get up, you lazy sod." Kit said, as she and Kim walked into the living room. I pretended not to hear her, but couldn't help opening an eye, as she came to stand directly in front of the fan.

"Stop being so lazy, you lazy girl." She said, as Kim rolled his eyes from behind her, causing me to grin a little.

"Not going to happen." I mumbled. "Too hot to move."

"Yeah right." She said sternly. "Kim and I are taking you out. Get up, and go and shower, and stop acting like this heat is the worst possible thing in the world." She said finally, shutting off the fan and pointing in the direction of the shower.

"Kill me now." I groaned childishly, sitting up slowly, as the heat attacked every part of my body.

"Stop being so childish Matilda Hunter." Kit said mockingly.

"I will when you stop being all motherly." I replied, poking my tongue out at her as I trudged aimlessly towards the bathroom.

Why did she have to be so pushy, I thought angrily as I slammed the door behind me. If I wanted to be a lazy cow for a day, why shouldn't I be? Fuming silently, I looked up into the mirror and staring back at me was a dishevelled form of myself. It was the heat, I told myself, as I looked at my unkempt hair that was all over the place, the bloody hotness that was summer in Australia, I continued, ignoring the large bags that were under my eyes. None of it had anything to do with Luke and Sara, and how utterly awkward things had been since Cass and I had arrived home from the city, and I'd ran off.

No, nothing at all.

Sighing to myself, I realised that everything I needed was still in my room. I hadn't been with the living world for a while, so today was no exception. Only, when I went to open the door, I found it stuck… or broken. And no matter how much I jingled it, how many times I turned it, it would not come un-stuck.

"Shit." I swore, as I fell backwards onto the toilet seat, my face hot, my body perspiring. I wasn't make for manual labour on normal days, let alone days when it felt as if we were living on the hinges of hell.

Calling out seemed like the most plausible option, only, I knew Kit and Kim would be in their own world by now, so that idea fell flat before it had even gotten off the ground. Instead, I reached down to my foot and threw my thong at the door angrily, but… just as it was about to impact, the handle turned, and Luke stepped threw the door, baring the full brunt of my thong's force.

"Hey." He said, picking the thong up and shaking it at me "That's not…"

"Luke." I screamed over him. "The…"

But it was too late, the door had clicked shut behind him.

"And now you're screaming? Jeez Matilda," He said, rolling his eyes, turning to walk out "Stop being such a drama queen." He continued, as he tugged at the handle. Smirking a little as I watched him, I could only begin to think of this as karma for the Drama Queen comment only seconds before.

"The door won't open." He stated, and I resisted every urge to openly mock him. I just didn't have the energy to do that today. "We're stuck in here until someone comes."

"Enough of the obvious Luke." I said seethingly. Maybe it was the hot weather influencing me, maybe not, but he was already getting on my nerves… big time.

"Sorry Mattie." He replied a little snappishly, a subtle hint of sarcasm laced through his words, and I realised that it wasn't just me, it really was the weather.

"No matter, Sara will come looking for you eventually…" I said, trailing off, unable to finish the sentence with "because she follows you around like a puppy dog."

"Actually," Luke said, sitting down and leaning against the door "Sara's gone out today." He finished, shrugging.

"Alone?" I spluttered, ignoring the look Luke threw me.

"Yes, _alone_." He replied spitefully. "She said she wanted to go exploring like a normal tourist would, and who was I to stop her?"

"Her ever loving, ever suffocating boyfriend?" I replied sarcastically, and Luke threw me another dirty look.

"Okay," I replied, rolling my eyes boredly as I attempted to ignore how stuffy the room was beginning to feel. However, between the heat, and the obvious tension between Luke and I, in the end, it was just too hard to ignore.

"Close your eyes." I instructed Luke, who raised an eyebrow and looked at me.

"Yeah, right." He scoffed untrustingly.

"Luke..." I growled, but he scoffed again.

"I wasn't born yesterday Matilda." He said, drawing out my name for added effect. "You're obviously angry, and I refuse to be your punching bag, not this time." He finished snappishly.

"Excuse me?" I asked, standing up from the toilet seat. "All I wanted to do was take a quick shower, and I'd hoped you'd have the decency to respect me, hell, even respect your commitment to Sara, to close your eyes. But, what the hell?" I screamed at him, as he glared up at me.

"You do not want to go there." He mumbled harshly under his breath, only creating more fuel for the fire.

"Like hell I don't." I replied. "My punching bag? You and I have barely spoken two words all summer, and now you're my punching bag? You're supposed to be the logical one." I yelled in his face, causing him to stand up and look me in the eyes.

"Yeah, our friendship has really gone places, hasn't it Matilda?" He replied, his tone full of sass. "You've blown me off all summer, and when I have spent time with you, you're angry, you're spiteful, you're mean. Its like you've got all this pent up hatred inside of you and I'm the only release."

"Are you kidding me" I asked, shocked by his outburst. "How about the reason we never do anything together is I'm always at work, and you're always with Sara."

"The girl you just can't be nice to, you mean?" He said nastily at me.

"I am nice!" I cried defensively, but Luke only shook his head, a bitter laugh falling from his lips.

"You're sarcastic." He spat back. "And she's too nice to realise it. And you know that, you're forever mocking her with your remarks, forever attempting to hurt her with your twisted ways. Don't think I've missed you're subtle comments Matilda, I've just ignored them, because I know I only have to deal with this for a couple of weeks, and then Sara and I will be gone again, without having to deal with you."

The tears that formed in the corners of my eyes informed Luke that this time, he'd taken it one step too far. But, as running was not an option, all I could do was look away, and brush the tears from my eyes, refusing to meet his own. My name escaped his lips, strangled by the fact his mind had willed him not to say it, yet I ignored any approach he gave me.

His words hung in the air, mixing with the dense heat from the burning sun, and, as I lay my head gently down against the wall, they repeated themselves over and over, tormenting my very soul, until it became a harmony in the background of my dreams.

_Haunted, I can hear his voice on the wind. Or maybe, he is the wind, calling me to him. But I refused, I stay, as my hair whips against the wind, my white dress blows freely. The sun is hidden behind the clouds, taking the warmth from my skin. I shiver, knowing that I should move on. But I can't, I can't let go, not of here._

_My face is wet in my hands, and I wait for the rain to soak the rest of my body through. I hold my hand open, my palm facing the heavens, waiting, waiting for the cool drops to overwhelm my soul._

_But… they never came._

My eyes flicked open, and my hands reached for my cheeks, stained with salty tears. And Luke was reaching down for me. His strong arms pulled me to him, and I couldn't even fight it, I let myself melt into the familiarity of him. His hands moved in small circles on my back, soothing my sobs, scaring away the fears of the nightmare that was my dream… and I let him. Because sometimes, it's just too hard.

"I'm so sorry Tilly." He whispered down to me. "You know I didn't mean those things, It's just, I'm so angry, about…" He trailed off, but I didn't pull away. I couldn't, because then my eyes would meet his, and I'd see in them confusion and fear, and I couldn't be the one causing him that… I couldn't be the one who made him doubt himself.

"It's not you Luke. You were… right… to say those things. I mean, I am horrible, but I don't mean to be. I do like Sara, she's a sweet girl." I said, gulping down air as I tried to breath. "But, it's just hard to learn to share you with someone." I continued, as the closeness of Luke and I became more apparent as each second passed. "Because up until last year, you were mine and mine alone… because sharing you with Ric didn't count. And now, it's just, different? You know?" I asked, looking up towards him finally, and finding myself becoming lost in his blue eyes.

The heat around us was nothing compared to the heat between us. Luke pulled me closer to him, his hand gently cradled my face, as he murmured softly to me.

"You'll never have to share me Tilly."

My eyes were closed, and our breath mingled with the flavour of heat trapped with us, and I knew his body was pulling me in again, and if I didn't stop now, I'd never stop. And I just couldn't live with myself if I didn't stop.

"I'm sorry." I whispered against his lips, pursing my own together as I pulled away, sniffing a little, as I wiped a stray tear from the corner of my eye.

"So am I." He replied, as he stood up, and placed me gently down on the toilet seat, before turning and walking to the other side of the bathroom. The heat was nothing compared to the silence that hung heavily between us, for minutes, or hours. It lay there, as a boundary for Luke and I… a reminder of a line we never intended to cross… a line drawn in the sand long ago.

I closed my eyes, and tried to steady my breathing, concentrating on anything but Luke, his close proximity to me, and the heat, the silence, the awkward feelings that surrounded us. And the next thing I knew, Kit was gently shaking me, calling out my name.

"Mattie," She said softly "Mattie, I'm sorry, Kim and I, we just thought you were being childish, that you didn't want to come, so we left without you, oh honey." She said guiltily.

I smiled up at her, shaking my head as she apologised over and over. "Kit, don't worry." I replied, looking over to see Luke had already vanished from the room. "Did Luke say anything?" I asked offhandedly, hoping that I was subtle enough not to arouse suspicion.

"Only if Sara was home," She replied, as she pulled me up to her.

"Oh." I replied, my voice weakened. "I think, I might have that shower now," I continued, looking up to Kit as we walked to my room.

"Are you okay Mattie?" She asked, as we came to stand in my doorway.

"I'm fine," I replied, realising that that was becoming my automatic response. "Just coming to realise, that men see things in a box, and women see things in a round room."

Kit laughed a little, shaking her head before hugging me. "There will never be another you Matilda Hunter." She said amused.

I wished it were only that simple.

-

**AN:** Do you love me or hate me? Thanks to Jade for proofing. I hope you all liked it. Hopefully another chapter shall be up soon.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

_Chapter Fourteen_

_"I was still waiting for everything to start, and now it's over."_

_-_

Gently, I kissed Sara's forehead before slipping silently out of my room, padding gently towards the back door, where my surfboard stood. Even at this early hour, when the sun was only just peaking over the horizon, the incredible heat that came with the middle of summer was overwhelming. The back door remained unlocked, and I slowly pushed it open, not wanting to wake any one else who may have been dreaming peacefully in the house.

The early morning rays shocked me a little, as I rubbed my eyes gently, attempting to wake myself fully. Truth be told, I'd slept restlessly last night, haunted by visions of Mattie, her body next to my own, her smell, her touch. The bathroom encounter had only strengthened the visions; that really, had never stopped coming; a secret I'd kept to myself for months now.

Simply because it hadn't meant to mean anything.

But there are some things in life that, at one stage or another, become truly undeniable. And I couldn't help but really believe this was one of those things.

Because, no matter what, she always ended up back with me. In my mind, in my heart.

Jogging towards the beach, I saw a familiar figure on the shoreline, and smiled a little as I approached them.

"Fancy meeting you here." I said, grinning a little, until my eyes looked out over the water, where small waves beat against the shore, not a single swell in sight.

"The god's are displeased with us today." Ric replied, turning to look at me gravely. "What have you done to anger them so?" He continued, his budda voice full of sarcasm.

Sighing, I pushed the head of my board deep into the sand before slumping down in a heap.

"Okay, not the reaction I was going for." Ric said, mimicking my actions with his board and sitting down next to me.

"Mattie and I were trapped in the bathroom yesterday, and we almost kissed." I blurted out, as Ric looked at me, a little shocked.

"But, Sara?" He asked, as I shook my head, letting the confusion overcome me.

"Sara was never the issue. She isn't the issue. Besides, nothing happened." I said, leaving out the part where Mattie pulled away, not me.

"How did this happen?" He continued to dig.

"I don't know. We were stuck, and we yelled, and I said things I should never have said. And it was so damn hot, and she was crying, and then she was in my arms, and it all felt so right…" I trailed off, knowing Ric understood exactly where I was coming from. "Was it this confusing, for you?" I asked, as he shook his head, looking out over the horizon.

"For me, it was easier. I wasn't given the choice about whether we broke up. Parker and I, as much as I hate to admit it, were more a replacement for Cassie and I." He said honestly "I mean, I'd always loved Cass, but being away from her, I thought I could move on, you know?" He asked me, and I nodded silently beside him. "But then, I saw her again, and everything just came back. And I couldn't deny that, I just couldn't deny her."

"Yesterday, I thought I couldn't deny Mattie and I any more." I said to him. "But the day before, I was more in love with Sara than ever. She's perfect for me, she's quiet, shy, she gets along famously with Beth and Dad, at Uni we're in this groove when things just feel right."

"But?" Ric asked, obviously sensing that there was more to this story than I'd let on.

"But Summer Bay warps things around, it plays with your head. Here, it's like you can't escape the past, no matter how hard you're trying to out run it." I said, sighing, falling back onto the sand.

"I can't make up your mind for you." Ric said, standing up and walking over to his board. "This is something you need to figure out on your own."

"And how does one do that, oh wise one?" I asked, sitting up on my elbows and looking towards him.

"Figure out which one makes your world spin." He replied, shrugging "Figure out which one you live for." He threw me a smile as he wandered up the small path that went in the direction of the caravan park, and I threw myself back on the ground as soon as he was out of sight.

His words floated around in my head momentarily, but were quickly replaced by thoughts of her. She'd been there ever since we arrived back, her smile, her laugh, she was in my thoughts, in my dreams. Memories that I couldn't escape taunted me, until I couldn't escape her any more… even though I wasn't sure if I wanted to.

She'd been my life, and then, suddenly, she wasn't any more. And it had taken me a while to get that factor out of my head. Then Sara had come along, and she was perfect for me. Quiet, a little shy, but so smart and funny and honest once she opened up to you. And she had… she'd opened up and changed my world. At least, that's what I'd believed, right up until the moment I saw her running towards me in the distance. And my world had moved once again.

And, as much as I'd tried to fight and ignore these feeling that had come rushing back the moment Matilda had fallen into my arms, after yesterday, I just, couldn't fight them any more.

I didn't want to hurt Sara… the thing I wanted least in the world was to tell her the words she'd always feared hearing. But lying to her… keeping this going, when I didn't feel for her what I felt for someone else… that would hurt more in the end…

Pretending would hurt more.

Resigning myself to my fate, I pushed myself up from the sand, pulled my board out, and trudged slowly towards the house, delaying the inevitable for as long as possible.

-

"Sara…" I pleaded with her as she furiously shoved her clothing back into a suitcase.

"Don't you 'Sara' me Lucas Holden." She snapped back, still throwing her items in "I knew this was going to happen, I knew it. 'Don't get involved,'" She said to herself "He's got excess baggage. This will all end in heartbreak." She continued, as I sat down on the bed, my head falling into my hands. "I was so stupid to think that it wouldn't, especially after I met that little… cow…" She screamed, throwing her arms up in the air angrily.

"Don't bring Matilda into this…" I warned, all but a little too late.

"Don't bring Matilda into this!" She mimicked, turning to glare at me. "As if you didn't already bring her into this. You've always brought her into this." She screamed crazily at me, "It's always been Matilda this and Mattie that, yak, yak, yak, and I fought so hard to get her out of your head." She said, as she inched closer to me. "Coming here was the biggest mistake of my life." She whispered harshly in my face. "Because coming here brought you to her. And that was all she needed to worm her way back into your pathetic little heart."

"This isn't about Matilda." I replied through gritted teeth, as she just growled at me, before swinging around and returning to the task of throwing things haphazardly into her bag.

I sighed, rubbing my temples, hoping to god that either this headache would go away, or it would help me come up with something to say to Sara, to stop her from becoming so… angry.

"Hey Luke," A voice said, gliding in from outside the door, and I hoped to god she had enough sense to turn back. Unfortunately, Mattie knew nothing of the last half hour, and she entered the room as a completely innocent bystander to the train wreck I'd created. She also didn't remain that way for long.

"Oh here's the Princess now, come to collect her prince charming for an afternoon rumble." Sara spat nastily towards Mattie, who shot me a quick, confused glance before turning her attention back to her attacker.

"I wouldn't worry about giving your attention to him for long." She continued, sarcasm dripping from her every word, "He turns back into a frog at midnight. But oh, you already knew that, didn't you? I mean, the two of you know everything about one another, how could silly old me even begin to think she'd break that bond?" Sara said angrily, throwing one of her hairbrushes at Mattie.

"Okay." Mattie replied, clearly shaken. "I have no idea what your problem is but…"

"You have no idea." Sara muttered, shaking her head. "You and Lucas, that is my problem." She snapped, as Mattie glanced again at me quickly.

"There, see?" She said, as she walked over to Mattie. "That's what I'm talking about. Those looks the two of you share, and those smiles, and those damn annoying giggles. They are all my problem. You are my problem, little princess." She said, as she backed Mattie against a wall. "You think you're prefect, don't you? Untouchable? And the fact that you've got history," She continued, scoffing a little, "Well, who was I to even pretend to be able to compete with that. So he's all yours Matilda Hunter, but… here's a little piece of advice. He won't stick around, they never do. He'll grow bored and tired of you, and move on. And then you'll be the broken one. And you'll know what it feels like." She said menacingly, as she turned on her heels, grabbed her bag and stormed out of the room.

Still holding herself against the wall, Mattie closed her eyes and counted to ten before relaxing a little and opening her eyes.

"Luke?" She asked, a little dazed, and more than confused about what had just happened.

"Sara and I broke up." I replied meekly, attempting to prepare myself for whatever was about to come.

"Oh." Mattie replied, before actually registering what I'd said. "Oh." She continued, her tone a little different, that one syllable strung out just a little longer.

"I have to go." She said, smiling awkwardly at me before rushing out of the room.

Groaning in frustration, I fell back onto my bed, willing it to swallow me whole. Today had not been a good day, and now, everything was ten times worse.

-  
-  
-

**AN:** Well, Jess is currently on holiday at the moment (lucky), so I'm posting up the chapters. : ) Hope you all enjoy the chapter - as usual it's great. Another one should come soon! Apologies for the delays - I've been extremely busy and unable to proof for a few weeks. Jess has in fact been getting the chapters done, I just hadn't proofed them until now. Sorry! Thanks, Jade


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

_Chapter Fifteen_

"_Beautiful night, does it ever cool off?"  
"No, this time of year its hotter than the hinges of hell, we got stars though…"_

_-_

Their voices mingled and mixed into one another, as my eyelids drooped, and I became dangerously close to falling into a deep, heat driven sleep. It had been three days now. Three days of heat, three days of lazing around because there was nothing to do. Two days since Sara has stormed out of Luke's life, screaming at Mattie for things neither of us could even begin to comprehend. Two days of awkward interaction, of fast talking _Gilmore Girls_, of surfing and sunbaking, and attempts to make it feel as it once did.

Two days of failed attempts.

Until we came to be here, lying on Mattie and Luke's couches at nine at night, lost in our own worlds, where heat melded with memories of once forgotten good times, and I couldn't help but know something needed to be done. Because whatever had happened in the past, we couldn't move on unless they spoke to one another… really spoke to one another.

And then, from next to me, Mattie finally made a sound.

"I'm bored." She whined.

Groans escaped Luke and Rics mouths before they could stop themselves.

"Don't mock." She replied, pouting at them. "This is serious. I feel so bloated, I feel so lazy, I haven't done anything except sit on this couch, lay on the beach, or sleep, in three whole days."

"Neither have I." I threw in, hoping to aid her cause. I was bored to. Really bored. And while I never thought that could happen while we had any Gilmore Girls around, the day had actually come.

"Well, if you two would actually learn to surf…" Ric began, grinning at Luke as Mattie and I groaned in unison.

"Will they never learn?" I asked Mattie, who shook her head solemnly.

"Apparently not." She replied, her eyes closing, a small, sly smile forming on her face.

"What are you thinking?" I asked her, knowing that smile couldn't possibly mean anything good for us.

"Just about how nice the water may actually be tonight." She said vaguely. "How nice a swim might be, to cool off, before this southerly arrives… if it ever does." She said, grumbling a little.

"But it's nine at night." Luke said, stating the obvious.

"Yeah, but it's still like, thirty degrees." Mattie retorted, crossing her arms over her chest. "Well, I'm going swimming." She said defiantly, "I don't care if I have to go alone. I'm hot and I'm bored and I just want to do something that doesn't make me feel so fat."

"Amen sister." I said, standing up and high-fiving her. "Are you with us?" I asked, as Ric and Luke shared a look with one another.

"Do we have a choice?" Ric replied finally, standing up and walking over to me.

"Not so much." I replied finally, giggling as he kissed me gently.

"I guess we're with you then." He said, sighing, as if it were a huge chore to be around us.

"I knew you'd see it our way." Mattie smiled at them, as she bounced towards her room excitedly.

Her absence meant that Ric and I were alone with Luke, and, despite my gut telling me not to meddle, I just had to ask him.

"Any changes?"

"No, it's still ing hot." He replied, smirking at me.

"He thinks he's so clever." I said, rolling my eyes as Ric laughed shortly behind me.

"Oh you meant Mattie?" Luke continued, feigning innocence. "No, she still walks around as if nothing has happened. As if Sara is still here. As if the day in the bathroom never happened, and Sara never screamed at her like she was the wicked witch of the west. And oh yeah, she still refuses to acknowledge that anything actually happened between us."

"Oh Luke." I began, just as Mattie reappeared.

"Right, shall we get this show on the road?" She asked, as she walked towards the door. "Or shall we stand around mulling over the events from the last couple of days for a little while longer?"

"Fun night, yeah?" Ric asked, as Luke groaned and began to follow us out of the house.

"Fun all around." I replied, as he took my hand in his.

-

"Mattie." I screamed out, as I saw her lone figure stripping of all excess clothing on the beach. She turned momentarily to look in our general direction, but as soon as we began to approach her, she ran towards the beach, throwing herself into the cool water that was lapping gently against the shore.

As we reached her pile of strewn clothing, I shook my head, wondering what was really behind her almost self-destructive behaviour tonight. Sitting myself down, I felt two bodies move next to me, and I looked to see Ric and Luke sitting either side of me, staring.

"What?" I asked, looking between them.

"Well, aren't you going to follow her?" Luke asked, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Why me?" I asked, as he shrugged his head.

"Because." Ric said, "You two have been doing that best friend thing all summer. Following one another when the other storms off, having secret looks that clearly mean something, but never letting us in." He said nonchalantly. "So it just figures that you'd go after her, have one of your bonding moments and you'd both come back all sunshine and smiles."

"Huh." I said, as they smiled at one another. "Have we really been like that all summer?" I asked, a little confused that they'd actually paid enough attention to see in our friendship something that significant, something that important.

"Well, yeah." Luke said. "But you've always been kind of like that. It's just a little intensified this year."

"You know what I think?" I said, turning to look at them, as they nodded. "I think Mattie and I have never given either of you enough credit."

"Is that a compliment?" Ric asked, as I stood up and took off my shirt, throwing it at him, before shimming out of my skirt. "Yeah," I said, as I walked down towards the surf. "As close as you'll ever get." I finished, yelling over my shoulder.

"Mattie." I yelled, as I reached the waters edge. I could see her standing out in waist deep water, looking up at the starry sky, and when she didn't respond, I knew that if I was ever going to get her attention, I was going to have to go out there. Not that it worried me as such, because as soon as I stepped into the warm water, it began to cool my over heated body, and I knew that Mattie was the clever one, preferring to be out there instead of on land.

"Mattie." I said, as I came to stand by her side. But she, she remained unmoved. "Mat…"

"It's pretty unbelievable." She whispered.

"Yeah, it's pretty beautiful too." I said, looking up instead of at her, knowing deep down that she'd open up in her own time.

"No. This summer. That's what's unbelievable."

"Why?" I enquired, not really understanding exactly what she'd meant.

"Who'd have ever thought you and Ric would end up back together?" She said, almost deflecting the question.

"Well, you never know what the heart truly feels until faced with its one desire." I said, and she nodded distractedly.

"And Parker attempting to be nice. And us working? And me actually missing University and Sydney?"

"And Sara and Luke?"

Sighing, she looked down towards the water that lapped around out waists.

"I thought, coming back here, Luke and I would be able to create a friendship that would last a lifetime." She said finally, her voice faltering a little. "I thought, we could get past the messes of the last summers, we could get past everything that happened last year, and we could just, re-bond."

"But you still can, we've still got a couple of free days before we go back."

"No." She said sternly, turning to look at me. "Don't you see? If anything, this summer has taught me that Luke and I, we're headed in different directions, we're on different paths. And we can't try and salvage something that's become too distorted, and so hard. We just, can't." She finished sadly, turning to walk away.

"Mattie," I cried after her. "What are you so scared of?"

"I'm not scared," She began, but I didn't give her a chance to finish.

"Yes, you are." I said, moving towards her. "You've been running away all summer. Are you scared of letting him in again? Letting yourself feel again? Leaving yourself open again? Letting yourself get hurt again?"

"Maybe I'm scared of being trapped in something I never really felt." She said, her eyes glistening with tears as she turned to look at me. "Maybe I just want to be able to live my life without wondering if this really is the right thing. Maybe, I don't want to go back." She whispered, turning to run back to the house, past Luke and Ric, who were standing on the shore.

"So," Ric said, as I walked slowly to them. "That must've gone well."

Throwing him a look, I continued to walk towards my towel.

"What?" He yelled after me. "Wait, what happened?"

"You don't want to know." I yelled back to them. "You really, don't want to know."

-  
-

**AN:** Here's the next one. Fast updating right? lol : ) Hope you enjoyed it. Jade xox


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy.

_Chapter Sixteen _

"May your loss be met with a hurricane of love."

-

As the warmth of the sun reached my body, I heard a crunching noise, and looked up to see Luke ambling slowly towards me.

"We meet here yet again." He said, as he sat down next to me.

"Weird, ay?" I replied, grinning, as Luke let out a short laugh.

"Well, it's summer, how could we expect anything other than the extraordinary to occur?" He asked, and I was slightly thrown by his comment.

Obviously, after seeing my look of confusion, he began to explain himself a little more.

"We, or I, can't seem to last a summer without the weird, crazy, and just plain strange happening, all while Mattie and I seem to be on this rollercoaster of emotions that I can never quite keep up with. And she, she always seem to be one step ahead of me… or one emotion ahead of me." He finished, sighing bitterly.

Apparently, the last three summers and their life altering events were playing heavy on his mind, and I couldn't help but understand the predicament he was in. I mean, for the last two summer's I'd lived through it with him. Maybe I'd just gotten lucky this summer. Maybe… maybe Luke and Mattie weren't meant to be, like Cassie and I? I didn't like to think it but…

"Maybe I shouldn't want to go there again." Luke said suddenly, and I had to wonder just how close our friendship was. "I mean," He continued, "we worked so well as friends. I mean, there was very little complication, and even less drama. And we could talk about anything and everything and not feel guilty. It felt all natural and stuff…" He trailed off, his mind ticking over, thinking of the short time they'd spend as friends, possibly comparing it to the years that they'd spent as more.

"You remember the last time we sat here?" I asked, and Luke nodded in reply. "That was after I told you Summer Bay warps everything in your head. And it does." He said angrily, as his hand beat down against the sand. "Sara and I were happy. And what she said to Mattie, how she left, that as just her reacting to everything that she'd been put through. Imagine how hard it was for her, to come back here and try to fit into the world that Mattie had been the centre of. And I, I didn't make it easier. Neither did Mattie." He said resentfully, "In her mind Sara was always the enemy. She didn't give her a chance, couldn't be bothered to get to know her. She was always the one who took me away from her."

His anger was more than apparent, but I couldn't interrupt his rant by telling him he was right on the money that would only fuel him more.

"But she wasn't. Sara was the sweet, innocent girl that I feel for, and then threw it away in the belief that Mattie actually had feelings for me. I jumped to the wrong, stupid conclusions, and now I'm left alone, angry, and hating the one woman who ever really knew me."

"Now come on, you don't hate her…" I began, but his intense gaze cut me off.

"What I feel goes pretty close." He said, falling back onto the sand and shutting his eyes tightly.

"Come on." I said, hitting his leg as I stood up. Knowing that I would not be able to make him see any reason in his current state, I went for the next best thing. "The surf is waiting for us."

He groaned, but did nothing to protest, rising to stand next to me, his board in his arms.

"How much drama do you think this beach has seen?" I asked, as a wry grin formed on Luke's face.

"From us? Or from the rest of Summer Bay?" He replied sarcastically, as I laughed a little.

"The rest of Summer Bay doesn't hold a candle to us." I replied finally, clapping him on the shoulder as I walked into the cool, early morning water.

-

"You don't really hate her, do you?" I asked Luke later; finally believing it was safe to venture into that conversation once more.

"No." Luke replied finally, as the water moved gently against our boards. "No, as much as I'd like to, I can't hate her, I could never hate her."

I nodded in reply, knowing what he was feeling. The utter torment and guilt that had engulfed my soul after the forbidden kiss Cassie and I had shared had been one of the worst feelings the world had to offer. I strongly suspected, sneaking a sidelong glance at my best friend, whose features were clouded over with annoyance, with pain, that Luke had been feeling that way for more of the summer. Because, as much as he'd loved Sara, I knew his heart, in one way or another, would always belong to Matilda. Their histories were simply too intertwined for him not to.

"I just wish," Luke continued, his voice breaking my current train of thought. "that she'd stop dancing around the issue Or stop avoiding it. Whatever she's doing, she'd not making it easy for me to talk to her… for me to tell her…"

"Tell her what?" I asked, even though I was almost certain of what it was Luke wished to say.

"Tell her that there will never be anyone else." He said finally, sighing deeply as if a heavy burden had finally been lifted from his shoulders. "Tell her that she'll always be everything to me, no matter the time and space between us. Tell her that I love her, and will always love her, if she'd only let me in again, and let herself love me once more." He finished sadly, hastily wiping away the tears that had fallen from his eyes.

I knew better than to speak right now. He didn't need my words yet, he simply needed the comfort of knowing he was not alone in his fight for love.

-

"Do you remember when Mattie kissed you?" Luke asked me later, as we took a moment of our time to enjoy the rays of sun on the beach.

Groaning, I shook my head, as my brotherly instincts took hold. "Really, must we go back there? I already feel like a perve whenever the memory just happens to flick through my mind."

"That was when I'd first bordered on hating Matilda. Until then, I couldn't imagine feeling anything but this heart-warming, awe-inspiring love that she managed to make me feel. Which I hadn't felt, in a long time… because I'd never really been taught that kind of love. Only the unconditional love of a parent to their children. But then, she betrayed that love, and I couldn't see a way out of hating her. I just couldn't."

Luke and I had never really talked about that night. Or the events that followed. We'd chosen to live with the complications that had arisen, without ever really moving on. Maybe that's where we'd always gone wrong, especially last summer. We'd never really talked about things, only taken it for granted that they'd always return to the same. That we'd always return to be the same.

And when they finally didn't, we hadn't known how to go on. So we'd stumbled along the way, until we found ourselves back at the beginning once more.

"I told her that summer that we were fated, and that nothing would ever come between us. She was ready to shut me out of her life, she was waiting for me to shut her out of my own, but I promised her that I'd never let it happen. But I did. Over the stupid distance between us. And the belief that maybe things had changed between us."

"At least you fought for her?" I threw in, as Luke shot me a look. "What? I just let Cassie believe that I didn't want us to last. That I didn't want to be with her. I just let her walk away…" I said, but Luke interrupted me.

"But she came back to you. She didn't run you ride you around in circles on her emotional rollercoaster. Cassie came back to you." He repeated, as his point sunk in.

"And Mattie came back to you." I replied, trying to cling onto anything with substance. "In her own roundabout way, she came back. I mean, how else do you explain her behaviour this summer, towards you, towards Sara. Mattie isn't a mean person, and she generally doesn't dislike people without good reason… didn't you ever begin to ask yourself why she shut you and Sara out like she did?"

"Every day." He replied rather wistfully. "I just wish I knew if it was because she wanted me back, or because she was so terrified of losing our friendship."

I nodded, not knowing what else Luke really needed to hear.

"I guess," He continued "in the end, maybe holding on for dear life doesn't work. Especially if the person you're holding onto doesn't want to be restrained. Doesn't want to be held. Doesn't want to be loved."

I clapped his shoulders, but couldn't say anything for fear of my voice failing me. Luke obviously needed to deal with this by himself, anything I said couldn't, or wouldn't change his mind. But that didn't mean my heart didn't break for the guy who had felt like my best friend forever now, knowing that this turmoil didn't look as if it was going to resolve itself any time soon.

**AN: **Hope you all enjoyed it. : ) Jade xox


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the drama and tension I'm going to cause. Enjoy._  
_

_- _

_Chapter Seventeen_

"_Sadness is easier because its surrender. I say make time to dance alone with one hand waving free."_

-

Was it me? It had to be. Surely there could not be any other explanation for it. I was cursed. And every summer, that curse reared its ugly head.

Three summers in a row.

Three summers when things had gone from bad to worse, when friendships had been tested and relationships had been broken.

Once is accidental, twice is coincidental, thrice… well, that's fate.

Perhaps fate had always been in the background, screaming that message at me. When I'd first been bored, when Henry had first returned, everything had seemed to perfect. And then ruined. That first summer had changed everything. It had tested us, and helped make us stronger.

Made us _believe_ that we were stronger, at least. Better together than apart. That's what I'd believed… for an entire year I'd counted my blessings and hoped that things would remain the same.

Fate had a cruel way of toying with us, I mused, as the light wind whipped around my body. Last summer it had dealt out its second hand… and come up trumps.

Lily, Parker, Queensland and everything in between. Fights and make-ups, break-ups and tears, everything had gone down hill so quickly I hadn't realised the sadness of it all until it was too late. We'd held onto something for too long. Grasped at something that we all realised wasn't there any more. We tried desperately to hold onto something that had been… not could be.

And we'd all become broken in the end.

The year apart was meant to fix things. It was meant to make things easier. Make things hurt less. But all it had done was create layer on top of layer of façade and lies. That had come crashing back down on me once more. A bittersweet ending to another summer that had broken my soul.

Thunder sounded deeply around me, causing the ground to vibrate. Turning, I looked up towards the sky, looming behind me, the clouds darkening against the once lit horizon. My stomach twisted, my mind reeling, and the strangest sense of familiarity over came me. Before I knew it, my mind had floated back to the dream that had been plaguing me all summer, and I was reminded of those fleeting moments I could vaguely remember. The wind whipping around me, the dark clouds gathering, the waves crashing against the shore, and my body and soul feeling lost, like it had never been before.

And then, I heard my name, being called gently on the breeze. Only, it wasn't an unfamiliar voice, as it had been in my dreams. It was a voice I'd know anywhere, a voice that penetrated my very being. A voice belonging to a person I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to face.

"Tilly." His voice was calm, quite, softened by the howling wind. I felt his presence, felt his gaze, but refused to meet his eyes. Something told me that I wouldn't like what I saw… wouldn't be able to handle what I saw in those eyes.

_This time, This place  
Misused, Mistakes_

"Tilly." He repeated, as he sat down next to me, not too close, but not too far, as if he felt the apprehension radiating off my body. Sighing, I tired my hardest to ignore his voice, focusing my gaze on the ocean, concentrating as hard as I could on the waves crashing on the shore. But, despite everything, I just, couldn't block him from my life.

_Too long, Too late  
Who was I to make you wait_

"Fine." He said, a little harshly. "Don't speak, but please," He said, his tone changing a little, my heart breaking a little, "please, listen to me."

Sighing, I conceded, nodding a little, my gaze still facing the ocean. The least I owed Luke, after everything we'd been through, was this one chance to prove himself to me. This once chance before I let go completely.

_Just one chance  
Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left_

"I know what you're thinking. Something along the lines of 'three strikes and you're out.' But really Mattie, it doesn't have to be that way."

I didn't respond. The words just wouldn't form. So he kept talking.

"I made you a promise, that time, on the beach, in the rain. I promised that no matter what, I'd never let anyone, or anything, come between us. And I failed. Because last year, I forgot what it was like to be near you. To touch you, to feel you. I began to forget you, and that scared the hell out of me."

_'Cause you know,  
you know, you know_

"And I panicked. And the more I panicked, the more I convinced myself that you and I were better off as friends. Every time I spoke to you, you always sounded so happy, and every time I was reminded of your happiness, I could only think of the unhappiness in your voice when we spoke before… and I just, kept convincing myself that it was all for the best. And then, when I finally believed I'd placed you in the dark depths of my heart, that would be untouchable, I met Sara."

I turned to look at him at this stage of his speech. He looked shocked for a moment, before inching closer to me, apparently taking this as a good sign.

"She was sweet. She was innocent." He said honestly, and I couldn't deny the pain that his words caused… "And yeah, I may have loved her a little." … like a dagger to the heart.

"But she wasn't you."

_I love you  
I've loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long_

"And for every minute I spend thinking about her, I'd spend an hour thinking about you. Thinking about us, and everything that I remembered. The good and the bad, the sweet and the ugly. All those years, that we'd just thrown away, because we believed that it wasn't there any more." He said, his voice cracking as his honesty shone through. "But that wasn't it. It will never be just that. This summer has proven that to me, and I know somewhere it's proven it to you too." He continued, appealing to me. "Why can't you just let me in?" His finished, and finally, as I looked to meet his gaze, I saw tears forming in his deep blue eyes.

I opened my mouth, and began to speak, before I realised the words still would not form. Because as much as I wanted to tell Luke he didn't need me in his life to be happy, I couldn't. Because, strip away all the bullshit of the summer, of the last year, of relationship mumbo jumbo, I still found myself needing him, craving him. Like never before.

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore_

But I couldn't let myself feel that again. I just couldn't give in to the vulnerability being in a relationship with Luke allowed me to feel… I couldn't be the one to hurt him again.

"Luke," I managed finally, my voice raspy, "Luke, we just…"

"Can't." He finished for me, shaking his head. "Why is it that we always can't Mattie, when we could, and did do, so well, for so long?"

I hadn't expected that. I mean, if I could see so clearly that he and I, we were better of as friends, despite our feelings, because in the end we always wound up hurting one another… then why couldn't he? Surely he had to realise that we were better together than apart…

_On my knees, I'll ask  
Last chance for one last dance_

I opened my mouth to speak, but his voice silenced my own.

"Whatever you're about to say Matilda Hunter, I'm sure I won't want to hear it. Because there is only one word I want to hear come from your lips. Okay. I want you to say okay to me when I ask you to let me prove that I'm the one for you. I want you to say okay, that you trust me to never let you down again. I want you to say okay, when I tell you I'm transferring from Canberra to Sydney to be with you… I want you to say okay when I tell you I'm about to kiss you."

Shocked by his words, I sat back a little, as his eyes bore into my soul. Swallowing the lump in my throat, my mouth went dry, as Luke began to lean ever so slowly towards me. Inside I was in turmoil, he was giving up his dream course to be with me, and all I wanted to do was push him from my life.

_'Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of Hell to hold your hand_

His lips were inching closer to mine, but I couldn't let it happen, not yet. Not without telling him the truth. Quickly, I stood up, and moved myself away from him. His saddened eyes looked up into mine, and I felt his pain. But that couldn't be helped, if he got to tell me everything he was thinking, then surely I was allowed the same rights?

"Luke," I began, as his eyes began to ice over. "Just let me say this, please. I'm scared Luke." I whispered, my voice trembling. "I'm scared that if I go back, if we go back, that I won't feel the same again. I'm scared that maybe there really is someone else out there for me, and for you. Other people, who we may never find, because we were always so… safe, together."

_I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything, but I won't give up_

"No Mattie," Luke began, but I held up my hand, silencing his cries.

"What if Luke?" I asked, begged, of him to answer, before it was too late, before I closed my heart off from him forever. "Because if the answer turns out to be the one I'm so scared it is, then once again you'll leave me broken, forgotten, by the wayside. Or worse, I'll be the one leaving you, and I don't think I could live with that pain. We were friends Luke," I said pleadingly, "We were good friends. Can't that just be enough? Can't we just, forget this summer ever happened?"

"You mean like we forgot the last two summers?" He replied bitterly, as I nodded my head a little, the tears welling in my eyes. "I know I've hurt you in the past." He continued "and I know there may be times in the future when you are hurting too, but that doesn't mean you should deny what you feel in your heart… it doesn't mean you should deny me, just because you're scared it won't work out. What happened to the Matilda who took risks, who wasn't afraid to live life? Because if she's disappeared, then maybe you're right. Maybe we don't want to do this any more." He finished, his anger piercing my heart.

_So far away  
Been far away for far too long_

_So far away_

Shivering, I pulled my lose shirt tighter around myself. The storm brewing in the distance was nothing compared to the storm brewing in my mind… in my soul. I knew the girl that Luke referred to was still hidden somewhere inside my body, but, somewhere along the way, she'd been replaced by this cold, closed off woman, who only responded to her best friend, to _Gilmore_ nights, to the people she knew would never leave her, never hurt her.

And she'd distanced herself from the girl, woman, Luke had loved, as much as she possibly could. And I wasn't sure if I could bring her back… to chance it again. To be with him again would mean I'd need to open my heart, and until now I'd believed I was fine the way I was.

Was I wrong?

_I wanted  
I wanted you to stay  
'Cause I needed  
I need to hear you say_

I turned to look at Luke, tears silently falling down my face, but he only shook his head and looked away from me, his eyes darkened with anger, hatred, betrayal. Standing up, he began to walk away from me. And in that moment, I felt my heart begin to beat a little faster, and my breath became caught in my throat, and my belly began to dance a little again.

And maybe it was because he was walking away from our friendship, maybe because I was throwing away our one chance to begin again… either way, I knew then that I couldn't do it. I couldn't let him walk out of my life, I couldn't be without him… couldn't live without him.

"Luke." I cried out hoarsely, and he stopped. I saw his body relax a little and as he finally turned to look at me, he broke out into a small grin. I smiled a little myself, then, as I walked slowly to him.

_I love you  
I've loved you all along  
And I forgive you  
For being away for far too long  
_

"Luke," I repeated, as I reached him, his body only inches from my own. His eyes were clear now, the colour that I'd always remembered them to be, and for a moment I began lost in those depths… for a moment, I allowed myself to be cast back to times I thought I'd long forgotten.

"Tilly." He prompted, and I laughed a little, because he'd only ever called me Tilly when we were being completely serious.

"I'm afraid of being hurt." I sighed finally, allowing all vulnerability to show through. "But I don't want to…" I said, stumbling through my words, as Luke waited patiently, as always. "I'm not going to hide away… just for the sake of not getting hurt." I said finally, as his smile broadened. "Because in the end, it's you who makes my heart beat faster, and my breath quicken, and my belly dances with butterflies… and it's always been you… and it might always be you. But I won't know that unless I let you in again." I said, as Luke pulled up into his arms, spinning us around in circles.

I smiled in the embrace, laughed out loud, overcome by happiness that I could not describe. Placing me down, he replied "Finally. Thank God." Laughing a little as I pouted in response.

"But," I said, taking a step away from him. "This is all on one condition."

His smile dropped a little, but his eyes remained locked on my own.

_So keep breathing   
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
_

"We need to do this right. We need to start from the beginning." I said, as he looked at me, confused, and a little bewildered. "Hi," I said, holding my hand out to him, "I'm Matilda Hunter." A mischievous smile played on my as Luke looked at my hand apprehensively. "Come on Luke," I said, before covering my mouth, giggling. "I mean, person I haven't been introduced to."

"I'm Lucas Holden." He replied, taking my hand that I'd dropped, and shaking it firmly. "It's nice to meet you Matilda Hunter."

"It's nice to meet you too, Lucas Holden." I replied, smiling shyly back at him.

Together, we sat on the beach that afternoon, and simply spoke. Of things that had happened once upon a time… of memoires that had been dredged up by the all-encompassing summer… words that had remained unspoken for so long.

Too long.

And my mind was so captivated by being with him, next to him, again, that I didn't notice until the sun was setting on the horizon, that the storm had finally passed us by.

_Keep breathing  
Hold on to me, never let me go_

_ -_

** AN:** And it ends. Summer may be gone, but I don't think it'll ever be forgotten. I hope everyone sat back and enjoyed the chapter for what it was - which is whatever you got out of it. I'd like to send a million more hugs to Jade, not only for posting the chapters leading up to this one, but for proofing the entire fic for me, for her continued support and suggestions. My faithful reviews both here and on BttB - you know who you are - I've thrived off every single word you've said to me, and I truly hope this chapter does the story - and the trilogy - justice.


End file.
